


Follow your heart (Ma vhenan ma ghilana)

by DiaGK



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Relationship(s), Solavellan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:09:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7018831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiaGK/pseuds/DiaGK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solavellan fanfic with a twist.<br/>Complying with the original story but with a few surprises. They will be revealed along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> 'Solavellan hell' is real. Please join me for this story where I try to add my own bits and pieces and ask questions. Also, there will be a slight twist to the main plot. Surprising? Maybe! Expected? Not at all.
> 
> My tumblr is this way: diagk.tumblr.com

Shem. That’s what she would call me. And that thought alone made me cringe. I understood the implications because of her background. Dalish to the core. I knew that Triss Lavellan was First to her clan trained to become the next Keeper. However, she was a very young elf, even by Dalish standards and she was not treated seriously by her clan mates. I knew that Triss trained for years as a hunter until her magic manifested rather late in her life. The Keeper was surprised at first but took her as her apprentice. Due to her quick learning of magic and lore she soon moved in line and became First. That alone did not gain any love from Second or other members of the clan who were more inclined towards the former First. She became alienated and more focused on studying magic than anything else. Her former hunt partners refused to talk to her as she was now considered a Mage rather than a Hunter. She tried to join them on their hunting escapades but with time they refused to pair with her. She hunted on her own and continued to hone her skills very early in the mornings when her clan was barely starting the day. She hunted mostly to keep in shape and burn the unspent amount of mana, which surged just beneath her skin. The Keeper was not fully aware of how powerful she was, as she did not let her see the full extent of her spells being afraid that Keeper would alienate her as the others did. Triss felt that magic was trying to overwhelm her to cover for the years she missed. She felt betrayed; one minute she was one of the clan the next she was treated as a stranger: the dangerous, incomprehensible, revered and terrifying Mage. She hated it at first until she realised that she was not to blame for the magical gift.

“Stupid shems. Why they keep calling me.. this Herald of Andraste? I don’t understand it. They insist on me saving them, as if I cared! Well.. I do care a bit. A tiny bit. But I don’t want to be the person responsible for saving the world..” Triss muttered under her breath. Oh, how nice. I think I may become a very good friend with her after all, I thought sarcastically.

Sitting on a snowy hill just around the corner from the Haven’s camp, Triss was tracing enchantments on the ground next to her. Feelings of frustration and annoyance were washing over her. Also fear of not meeting expectations of the humans who placed such a burden on her. “Help us save the world.. oh my, why me? This is so ridiculous.” She shook her head a couple of times to get rid of silly thoughts. “I need to get away. I cannot stay here.. they are all insane.. thinking that I can do it. I’m NOT the person who can do it, I’m not strong enough.. I don’t want this!”

‘Hush da’len. You are stronger than you think.’

Triss stilled and looked around. “Who’s this?” Panic in her voice.

‘Atisha da’len. You have nothing to fear. I am here to help you to get through this.’

“Who are you? Are you in my head?”

‘Hmm… that’s a good question’, I mused.

“Am I… possessed then? After the temple… the blast… when I was unconscious?“ She asked frantically.

‘No, da’len. You’re still you. I’m here to help. Not to possess you. I have no intention of doing so.’

“Then who are you?” She insisted.

‘Someone who can help. I promise you have nothing to fear. I’ll be around in case you need me or to give you my advice. Nothing more.’

“But who are you?” She repeated.

‘Well, you may call me whatever you like as long as you do it quietly. No need to alert others of my presence’, I said calmly.

“I have been talking out loud, haven’t I?” She asked amused. “If anyone could see me now... they would think that I went mad... or worse… or...”

“I thought I would find you here.” A calm voice interrupted her rumblings. She looked at its source. Solas. Well, shit. I thought.

He stopped a few paces away silently observing Triss. Evaluating her. Assessing. I realised that my knowledge might become a problem. Or a hindrance at least. Luckily, I did not think that Triss could hear my thoughts. That was convenient for the moment. She was looking at him feeling my slight discomfort. I knew who he was. I knew what he had done. And I knew that this time I can do something about it. I felt Triss’ lips stretching to a smile. Well, that’s nice. I think I may have some kind of control over her if needs be, I thought grimly.

“Yes, well… here I am,” she answered curtly. “Did you need me for anything in particular?”

“Just wanted to make sure you were alright. You left the camp quite abruptly after all.”

“You mean you wanted to make sure I did not run away, right?” She asked smiling shyly.

A crooked smile found its way onto Solas’ face. His eyes danced with laughter and curiosity for a moment.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues...

“The Seeker was concerned as you left in a hurry.” He repeated. “The situation is dire. We all know it. Yet, some may not realise the effects this situation may have on you.”

“And you do?” She asked abruptly. “Have you ever been named a Herald of a long dead person.. some kind of deity, a person to be worshipped even if they may not want to be? Even if they are just a regular elf who happened to be at the wrong time and the wrong place?”

Solas continued to look at her calmly. His eyes were telling a different story though. Burning. With hate, pity or compassion. It was difficult to decide which was more prominent. “No, I cannot claim that I have. However, I may understand your frustration with the humans or people in general. You were raised a Dalish after all.”

“Ah, so we go back to our previous conversation about Dalish. Do not speak of my clan or me if you know nothing of it!” She pointed a finger at him stopping suddenly.

“I only state what I think is true Lavellan. The Dalish are a very secluded and self-absorbed society after all..”

“You are so…” she started fumingly, glaring at him with only the barest of restrains.  


‘Atisha da’len. No need to antagonise him any further. Or to confirm his assumptions, as incorrect as they might be,’ I said to her. She was holding her breath trying to compose herself. I started to appreciate the focus she could maintain when facing a direct insult. I suspected that her patience was tested many times while she was with her clan. 

Solas cocked his head slightly to the side and continued to look at her with interest. I could see him hoping she would snap and go at him for what he said. Is he really just testing her, or he is really like that? I mused. I could not recall any kind of hostile confrontation from him. Maybe because I did not express my feelings about the Dalish. I hoped that Triss would be more diplomatic when it came to the matter of elves. Dalish. Elvhen. Oh my.. it’s a lot to take.

Suddenly, she turned around and without a word started marching towards Haven’s gate. Solas kept up with her pace. She was aware of him. Of his presence. Just at the arm’s reach. I did not think it was the best time to inform her that it was due to her Mark. She did not need to know it yet. I could not even start to imagine what she would do once she’s discovered its origin.

“We’ll be going into Hinterlands tomorrow. To help the refugees I think,” Solas stated suddenly. Triss turned around to face him.

“Then you’re willing to come and help the revered Herald to restore the order even if you consider her being a savage and an ignorant?” She spat through her teeth. Solas flinched then composed himself. Good, I thought.

“That is not my opinion of you Lavellan,” he answered coldly. “And yes, I am willing to help as many people as we can. Even a small kindness can go a long way Herald.” 

With that he turned away and went through the Haven’s gate leaving her completely baffled. She could not figure him out. From their brief encounters she understood that he was not particularly keen on Dalish and treated her like one of them. His assumptions hurt her and stung to the point where she lashed out and tried to say spiteful things to him. This was not the way to gain his approval, I thought. I needed to work on her attitude towards him and others. Triss’ reactions to other people, those who bowed to her or those who were simply concerned about her well-being, were not particularly pleasant. I knew it was partially because of what she expected from people. She did not get any better treatment from her clan, so she did not expect anything other from the Inquisition. I needed her to change that attitude and start believing in them, like I have. After all, I had to succeed in my task or all is doomed.

Triss passed by the ever-training soldiers not even noticing the brief worrying glimpses Cullen was giving her while talking to his lieutenant. She went through the gate, climbed the stairs and asked Varric to join her at the tavern. He was the only one who could make her feel at ease. To a certain extent. He gladly accepted her company and talked about Hawke and his adventurous times in Kirkwall not even once referring to the current situation. She got engaged in the story and even asked a few questions especially about Daisy. Varric was very happy to oblige. She even laughed when he mentioned a ball of twine.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharing tents in Hinterlands can be a challenge.

Fifty dead templars, three rifts, ten rams and one druffalo brought back to its owner later she found herself with another dilemma. The group consisting of Lavellan, Cassandra, Varric and Solas arrived at the Redcliffe Farms and sought help of master Dennet. However, he asked them for assistance with the wolves and building defences for the farmers in exchange for providing the Inquisition with horses. They established a camp near the small water enclave and decided to retire for the day. It was late anyway. And then the dilemma of sharing tents arose. Cassandra, Varric or Solas. Nice. I realised that Triss did not want to share the tent with the Seeker as she still was a bit scared of her. She did not want to sleep with Solas although it would have been the obvious choice since he was an elf. She decided to go for Varric as he was the one making her least nervous.

“I’d like to sleep with Varric, if that’s ok,” Triss blurted out. Oh my. She really did say it out loud. I noticed that Solas turned around to hide a smirk on his face. Cassandra opened her mouth to say something but did not make a sound and only Varric seemed unfazed by the statement.

“Ok Zany. You can take me to the tent but I’m afraid Bianca may be a bit jealous if you take me to your bed,” Varric commented unfazed by the slip-up. Triss went beetroot red and charged into one of the tents to avoid the looks from her companions. Once inside she quickly removed her armour and crawled into her bedroll. Varric stayed outside for a while and she could hear him talking to Cassandra and Solas around the fire. Soon Triss fell to a dreamless sleep. 

When she woke up some time later it was due to Varric’s snoring. She turned around and saw that he was laying on his back his right hand on his beloved crossbow. The snoring continued. Giving up the idea of returning to sleep she crawled out of the tent and walked towards the waterfall they cleared of the rift earlier that day. I was surprised that she could see so well in the dark but when I thought about it I realised that this was one of the benefits of being an elf. She walked slowly towards the river which sound was soothing and calming her. She stopped at the riverbank contemplating what to do when a quiet voice startled her.

“Can’t sleep?”

She turned to her left and looked at him. Solas was sitting just a few feet away. He was looking at her from the corner of his eye.

“Ehmm... yes… something like that,” she admitted.

“Would you like to join me then?” He patted the spot next to him. She hesitated for a moment. It was not like she did not like him it was the fact that he was so aloof towards her. Whenever they spoke the conversation ended with harsh words or silence. She sighed and sat on the grass. He turned his gaze away from her onto the river. After a few quiet moments he turned to her.

“Is the Mark still bothering you?”

She cast him a glance and looked down at the left palm. I knew it was troubling her from time to time. Sometimes to a point where she wanted to scratch her own hand until it bled. I was trying to ease her pain but I could only do so much without completely revealing myself. She smiled and shook her head.

“No. Not really. The more rifts I close the lesser the pain. Sometimes I feel like the Mark wants to be used. I don’t know... maybe it does not make sense... but it’s less throbbing and itching then a few weeks ago...”

Solas nodded at her explanation but kept looking at her palm. She wordlessly reached out to him and put her left hand on his thigh. He took it in his hands and started examining it. She sighed again. Tendrils of magic were caressing her hand. Small pinpricks prodding around the edges of the wound. She kept looking at his face lit by his spell. He was clearly fascinated with it. They sat in silence for a long while.

“I am sorry. I should be more considerate towards you. You are probably tired and would want to go back to sleep,” he declared suddenly releasing her hand in the process.

“Ehmm... well... I am tired but I cannot go back...”

“Why not?” He asked confused. “You should at least try to get some sleep. We have another long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“Yes, I know. It’s just I cannot sleep in my tent...” she admitted sheepishly. Solas arched one of his eyebrows questioningly.

“Varric snores,” she blurted out hiding her head between her knees. He did not comment on that. He was quiet. Too quiet. Triss found courage to look at him eventually. He was smiling.

“Well, it seems that we find ourselves in a quite interesting if not inconvenient situation.”

“Why?” She asked.

“Because it’s exactly the same reason I could not sleep in my tent,” he was smirking now. Her eyes went wide. Then she started laughing. He joined her and she found that she liked his laughter. Her eyes went watery after a while and she was struggling to catch her breath.

“It seems that my choice of a bed companion wasn’t the best one,” she stated.

“Maybe next time you could choose better?” He suggested jokingly.

“Will you sleep with me Solas?” She asked without thought. Oh my. Here we go again. She realised what she said and hold her breath. Solas kept looking at her in this assessing way of his. His lips quirked into a smile.

“It would be a pleasure Lavellan,” he kept looking at her and she squirmed.

‘You have a way with words da’len. I have to admit I am impressed he is not all over you yet’ I told her sarcastically. She winced but did not answer probably realising that replying to me would require saying something out loud. And Solas would probably think it was him she was addressing.

“Care to join me for the rest of the evening then?” He asked motioning for her to lay down next to him. She only just noticed that he was sitting on his bedroll which he probably dragged with him here to get some sleep. Triss was already embarrassed and tired. She moved to lay down next to him chanting in her head that it was like sleeping next to her clan mate in an aravel. They were outside after all. She laid next to him trying not to get too close which was clearly impossible. He turned to face her using his arm as a pillow. When she eventually looked at him he was asleep. His eyes were closed and his breath steady. She looked back to the sky. She started counting stars and trying to find the familiar constellations. She did not even notice when she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning after. Also, an unusual rescuer appears. And Triss gets angry at Solas. Again.

When she woke up in the morning she felt a warm body next to her and an arm loosely encircling her waist. She opened her eyes and was met with a pair of sleepy blue ones. Solas was looking at her calmly. She could not find strength to look away. His eyes were enticing. Blue sky with grey clouds and a shade of purple...

“Good morning. Hope you slept well,” his voice was hoarse after the night and came out as a whisper. He still did not move his arm. Triss felt a bit apprehensive but repeated the chanting from last night. A clan mate. In an aravel. Nothing out of ordinary. ‘Stop staring at him da’len. Unless you want him to think lesser of you.’ Triss smiled lightly and managed to get a small good morning to him. He was still looking at her. Still assessing. She put her hand on his forearm and he moved his eyes there.

“Ah, you were fidgeting at night. However, my embrace seemed to calm you down. I apologise for taking this liberty with you,” he admitted releasing her from his embrace.

“It’s alright. I think I may miss my clan. I am used to sleep next to others...”

“You have trouble sleeping alone?” Solas sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Maybe a bit...” She admitted getting up from the bedroll.

The day has barely started. The sun has just crossed the horizon. Surprisingly, Triss felt rested.

“Maybe we should go back to the camp. The others should be awake.”

Solas hummed in agreement and rolled the bedroll. They walked to the camp in silence.

\------  
She could not remember how it happened. One moment she was at a safe distance from an angry bear which was attacking Cassandra, the next she was speeding through the air to the other side of the riverbank. The group found themselves fighting two angry bears coming from opposite directions. Cassandra was fighting one and bear was slowly going down. The other bear appeared so suddenly behind Triss that she did not have time to react. The bear had chosen Lavellan as its target. She stopped at the riverbank and tried to calm down her heartbeat.

“Mythal’enaste. How did I do that?” She choked out. 

‘You didn’t. I did. There was no time to warn you.’ 

She turned around just in time to see the same bear stalking towards her across the river. Cassandra managed to finish the first bear and was running towards her. She was still too far away. Varric shot the bolts and the bear slowed down a bit. It was still approaching Triss though. Suddenly a cold spell enveloped the bear and froze it in its track. Solas. Lavellan looked at the bear and saw the rage in its eyes. It wanted to kill her. Cassandra’s body blocked her view as the warrior started chopping and slashing at the bear. Triss moved to the side and cast the cold spell just as the Solas’ one went down. The bear was dealt with within minutes. The others turned to look at her questioningly but only Solas approached her with a frown on his face.

“How did you manage to use the fade step so easily?”

Triss gave him a wild stare still catching her breath and steadying her heartbeat. Solas frown deepened and he put a hand on her shoulder.

“Is everything alright Lavellan? Are you hurt?” He gave her a once over.

‘Answer him da’len!’ I urged her. She was shocked and unable to articulate a coherent response. Solas was waiting and Cassandra came closer her brows hung lower in worry. ‘This is great.’

“I’m fine. Just a bit shocked that it actually... worked, that’s all,” I answered for her. She furrowed her brows hinting her disapproval. ‘What did you expect me to do da’len? Let them wait for you to decide that you deem them important enough to give a reply?’  
Solas sighed and dropped his hand to the side. “Maybe we could practice this spell once we back in the camp if you wish. It should be used carefully and definitely not without preparation.”

“Fine,” she managed to spit through her teeth. She was enraged with me. Mostly with me.

She turned around and started climbing the hill. The path led them towards an ancient elven ruin. They approached the archway carefully. There was a brazier hanging outside and Triss looked at it for a moment before casting a spell.

“Veilfire,” Solas muttered. “Well done Lavellan. You seem to be full of surprises today.”

She ignored his comment getting even more irritated by it. I could not understand why she was giving him such a hard time. It was understandable that he was concerned about her. Maybe not as a friend but rather as a bearer of the only thing that could close rifts. She was important and irreplaceable and he knew it. I also knew that there was more going one than met the eye. He was assessing her all the time. Evaluating if she was strong enough to bear the mark and not succumb to its power. Because ultimately it was changing her. Even if she failed to notice it...

They reached the centre of the ruins and retrieved the frost rune visible in the veilfire light. They collected few herbs on their way back to camp and decided to settle down and rest before the Inquisition soldiers arrive. Solas decided it was the best time to pester her about the fade step spell she performed earlier that day. Two of them reached the riverbank where they spent the night and she was struggling to hold the anger within her.

“How did you do it then? Just thought you could and then performed a perfectly mastered spell you had never used?” He summarised her fumbling explanation.

“I just did it. I don’t know how it happened exactly... all I know that I wished it and I... managed to do it...”  
“Then do it again,” he requested.

“Why?”

“To prove that you can,” his lips curved in a small smile.

“No.” I sighed sensing trouble on its way.

“Why not?” He cocked his head to a side.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you!” She barked. Solas furrowed his brows and kept looking at her in silence. The only sounds they heard were of the falling water.

“It seems that a simple request of casting a spell makes you uncomfortable enough that you defend yourself. I would deem it efficient if not inconvenient in this situation...”

“And again you are so quick to patronise me! Have you rendered your judgement on this aspect of my life as well? Haven’t you? Or are you going to pull the being Dalish reasons against me?” She was seething now.

“You being Dalish has nothing to do with your magic performance. I simply ask...”

“I know what you ask for Solas. You probably think that Dalish are incapable of mastering spells. Only those who wander the wilderness and the Fade can be great at magic. Well here’s a surprise for you. Dalish can do magic!”

“I have never said they couldn’t Herald. I am sure that there are those among Dalish who are more gifted than others however the level of performance may lack certain... subtlety required to perform a few particular spells...”

“So you insult me again! Why do you feel the need to criticise everything related to the Dalish? Can’t you give us some credit? We are trying. The best we can. We may not be the most knowledgeable but at least we try-”

“... and blunder horribly...” he interjected.

“Really? That’s all you can say about the Dalish?”

“I could say a lot more but I will refrain myself from the pleasure of voicing my opinions about the Dalish,” he said dryly.

Triss was fuming at this point. She was staring at him with so much hurt mixed with anger and yet he held her glare.

“You are always so sure of yourself and your opinions about everything. It’s not only about the Dalish or me. You think you know everything, don’t you? Have you never made a mistake hahren?” She spat the word yet he did not flinch. 

“Do you always find yourself justified with your right to declare what you think about others without actually knowing them first? Do you base your opinion about a person on prejudice you hold against the whole notion and preconception of a particular group? If so, then I pity you because it seems that you are unwilling to learn and change your point of view...”

“I know when I’m right Herald. And when it comes to the Dalish I am definitely right.”

“What you’re so right about then?”

“The Dalish claim to know more about their own history than any other elf. They cling to the remnants and misconceptions born of the lack of the truth. They have twisted the truth and bent it to suit their imagination of the past as they saw it fit. They are children cultivating a few misheard or misunderstood facts. They are not willing to discover or listen to the truths as they are so desperate to-”

“And who was there to teach us hahren? Who was there to tell us the truth?” She interjected.

“I have tried to share my knowledge with the clans I encounter on my journeys. None of them was willing to indulge me as to listen more than a few words. They claimed to know the ancient history better than I do. Their stubbornness and incapacity to rationalise left a lot to ask for. The truth would have hurt them, yes, but still they preferred to cling to the lies told by their Keepers.”

“You insulted their Keeper?”

“If by saying the truth I offended or insulted the Keeper then yes, that was the outcome.”

“And you are surprised that they did not want to listen to you?” Triss said sarcastically. “With all you knowledge and experience you could not find a better way to approach them? Really Solas?” For once he did not retaliate. He was looking at her with hurt in his eyes.

“Your name really suits you then. Pride. You are a proud and prejudiced man and it will be your downfall,” she concluded. Then she turned away and walked back to the camp.

She did not see the way his eyes crinkled and filled with pain.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riding in a saddle has its consequences. And some rewards...  
> You have been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> da'len - child, young one  
> ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> mythal'enaste - by Mythal's blessing  
> ma serannas - thank you  
> ma melava halani - you helped me

‘Well done  _da’len,_ ’ I chided.  **You, shut up. I don’t want to listen to you and I definitely don’t want you to interfere with my life!** Triss screamed in her head with force I did not expect.

‘Well, somebody is showing her teeth. I wondered when it’s going to happen...’

**You have no right to control me. You have no right to do anything I don’t want you to!**

‘And where would you be now if not for me? I practically save you from that bear today. You act as a scared child so afraid and frighten all the time that you forget who you are! You present yourself as a proud Dalish! You argue with anyone who says otherwise. And yet when it comes to use your wit and act with calm you follow your emotions and act irrational. I thought you were one of the best hunters of your clan. I would expect you to be level headed and not act as a frightened rabbit running away from its own shadow. What’s happened to you?’

Triss fell silent. I could feel she was all rode up. She was boiling with variety of emotions inside. She stopped at the top of the hill just left of Master Dennet’s farm. She was looking for a quiet spot to calm herself after talking to Solas. I wasn’t helping now. 

 _‘Ir abelas da’len_ , I should not have shouted at you...’ I admitted.

**No, you’re right. I am afraid... I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and confused. I have never seen so many _shems._.. or followed any religion besides our own beliefs. I have no clue what to do half of time. And I know you’re helping... I can feel when you steer me towards a target or stop me from being terrified in battle... I know you wish well. It’s just the moment you take over I feel like a puppet and it’s discomforting... like I lose a part of myself to you. As if I was not enough...**

‘You’re enough  _da’len._  You need to start believing in yourself. You will achieve whatever goals you need in order to find a solution to this mess.’

 **I hope so. I don’t have much experience with dealing with _shems_  and their ways. They are irritating mostly. And the fact that they call me the Herald of Andraste is disconcerting...** She went silent for a moment. **Do you believe in Andraste?**

Good question, I thought. The matter of faith has never been a simple one. Especially after what I’ve seen and experienced lately, it was hard to deny that there were more questions than answers. ‘I do believe she existed and played her part in shaping the world.’ I answered cautiously.

**Hmm.. but do you think I’m her Herald?**

If anything, you the Herald of Fen’Harel  _da’len_. I mused. I realised I could not tell her that. Not yet.

‘I am not sure. Anyway, it does not matter what I think. It’s more important what you believe yourself to be.’

**I don’t want to be her Herald. I don’t want to be anyone’s Herald in truth.. but if anything I would prefer to be a Herald of one of our own gods...**

Then you have had you wish fulfilled  _da’len_ , I thought dryly. Wait, does she think I’m Dalish like her? Hmm, interesting. ‘Maybe one day you’ll get your answers  _da’len_.’

Triss sat down and looked at the valley below. The farm came to life with the Inquisition soldiers who came to secure the area and arrange for the horses to be led to Haven.

She felt better after an hour as the quiet of the woods and whispering of the stream allowed her to calm her nerves and she almost felt like her clan was just around the corner. Nobody bothered her until she went back to the stables to acquire a horse for herself. It wasn’t a halla but the full blood forder was a beautiful animal. It took her little time to get familiar with her mount and the saddle. Riding a halla was different to riding a horse.

Dennet’s daughter explained how to saddle the horse and how to tend to it. Triss sat in the saddle and was happily grinning until she felt a gentle touch on her knee.

“Lavellan.” Only one person addressed her by her clan’s name. Solas.

She looked at him and her grin faltered. He was composed but his eyes showed sadness and worry.

“ _Ir abelas_  Solas. I need to get to Captain Vilius to discuss our move to Haven. Grab a horse for yourself and ask others to do the same. We are leaving shortly.”

He did not reply just bowed his head slightly in agreement. His eyes were following her. She could feel them even after she passed the fence and trotted towards Captain Vilius’ post.

*

They left the farm within next hour. She was getting used to riding in a saddle even if she could feel bruises forming on her thighs. She was riding next to Varric who was happily recounting a tale of Hawke’s attempt of horse riding at Chateau Haine. She was laughing as the story progressed and swayed in the saddle when Varric admitted that Hawke fell of the horse.

“You seem to be familiar with horse riding Chuckles.” Triss did not notice when Solas appeared at her right side.

“In my travels I’ve had many opportunities to ride a horse, master Tethras,” he calmly replied looking at Triss. She observed him from the corner of her eye. He sat straight and his hips swayed with the horse movements. He almost looked... regal. Even his shabby clothes did not diminish the impression. He noticed that she was looking at him and smiled lifting a corner of his mouth.

‘You’re staring  _da’len._..’ Triss looked straight ahead at my words. She could still feel Solas’ gaze on her though. He was staring at her rather openly.

“If I may ask Lavellan, where are you planning on leading us next?”

“I’m unsure yet. I will need to discuss it with rest of the Inquisition, don’t you think?”

“Indeed. Yet, someone would need to make a final decision. If I may suggest returning here to find an elven artifact which can help to strengthen the Veil. My research indicates that there is one in this area and it would be beneficial for the Inquisition to find it and activate it,” Solas was looking her straight in the eyes. The previous anger and sadness were gone from his gaze. 

“Very well then. I will take that into consideration,” Triss admitted resolutely. It may be also beneficial if we knew why he needs them working, I mused. He never actually explained what exactly those elven artifacts were for. And I do not believe that they are simply strengthening the Veil things...

Solas nodded and they continued their trip in silence. They made a camp and assisted the soldiers with tending to horses. Triss was tired and sore from the horse-riding. She crawled into her tent and groaned quietly. Her back, thighs and ass were killing her. Not literally but they hurt a lot. She was laying on her bedroll rolling from side to side to find the best position to ease the pain. It did not work.

“Lavellan?” – she heard Solas’ quiet voice just outside her tent.

**I’m going to kill him. He always shows up in the most unexpected moments.**

“What is it?” She asked through clenched teeth.

“I assume you may not be accustomed to horse-riding and may feel some discomfort. I thought that I may offer my assistance if you wished...”

**No, I don’t want you to help me.. Yes, I do. I need all the help if I’m to survive till tomorrow. Another day of riding on that beast from Beyond. _Mythal’enaste_  how am I to survive the whole trip to Haven?**

“Yes, please,” Triss whispered.

I thought her plea was too quiet for him to hear until he entered the tent and approached her slowly. Triss was curled on her left side. She was quietly observing him. Solas kneeled at her side and extended his hand. He hovered above her right thigh looking at her expectantly. She nodded and he touched her. Green tendrils of healing magic started coming off his hand enveloping her leg and Triss moaned in relief. Solas did not comment or make a face. He remained focused on his task.

“Lay on your back please,” he asked quietly. Triss consented and Solas moved his hands above her midriff. She was looking at his eyes all the time. They were turquoise in the spell light. He was moving his hands around her thighs and to her knees all the time keeping his face and eyes focused on his task. She did not feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Solas was almost touching her most intimate parts and the sensation of his fingers on the inside of her thighs should have made her at least uncomfortable. But it did not. He was professional and not leering. She felt the pain was receding and the usual feeling of relaxation was spreading along her limbs.

“Turn onto your stomach now.” Solas stopped his ministrations to allow Triss to turn around. She did as he asked. She couldn’t see his eyes now but she knew that he was looking at the same spot his hands were touching now. Her ass. Great. And because she could not see his expression his touch made her uncomfortable. No, not uncomfortable. Rather arousing.

Solas’ hands were moving ever so slowly over the plains of her ass and Triss gritted her teeth not to make a sound. Or release a moan. His touch felt so good. His hands stopped at the small of her back and then went down again. She was still clenching her teeth together. After a few torturous moments Solas’ hands left her ass and he sat on his haunches. 

“I think you should be fine by tomorrow morning. Still, I would recommend a good night sleep, so you may recover from today’s exertion,” he said with smugness in his voice.  
Triss turned around to see the mischievous glint in his eyes and a small fade of smile playing across his lips.  **Bastard. Not completely professional then.**  She was relaxed and free of pain, so she decided to overlook it.

“ _Ma serannas_  Solas.  _Ma melava halani._ ” Triss said quietly.

Solas looked at her with surprise and wonder. He was fully smiling now. He bowed his head and exited her tent bidding her goodnight.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss confronts Cullen. And then drinks with Varric and Sera.

He was looking at her across the war table. The smouldering gold of his eyes was unnerving. She could not understand what brought this on. I could. To a certain point. Triss was fidgety at the table, so she accepted the reports quickly and left the room asking Leliana to investigate the chalk markings and Josephine to see to the Ben-Hassrath gossips. Cullen.. well he was standing there waiting for  orders when Lavellan thanked them and left without a word.

She felt disquiet. She left Haven and went to her favourite spot to think. The quiet and cold helped her to calm down.

**Anything to say?**

I did not reply. I did not know what to tell her.

**No advice whatsoever?**

After a few moments without me replying she laid down on the snow and started humming an elven song. I recognise it as one I had heard before..

\----

“What do you think about mages Commander?” – she asked him looking straight in the eyes.

Triss gathered her courage to approach Cullen after calming down. She spotted him in the training grounds talking to one of his lieutenants. Even while talking to his subordinate his eyes were trained on his soldiers following their routine and noticing all their mistakes. She waited until he released the soldiers for break before quietly approaching him.

Cullen paused and then smiled.

“I don’t have anything against them in general. I have been a Templar after all and I was charged to protect them.”

“Yes, but how do you feel about a.. person who can do magic in general?” – she insisted.

“You mean.. how do I feel  about _you_ being a mage?”

A nod served as her response.

He sighed and looked to the side for a moment.

“I will not deny that the thought of you being the Herald of Andraste and .. a mage… is somewhat difficult to gather. And yet, the more I know about you and the more I see you do I don’t consider you being.. dangerous..” – he admitted stroking his neck. A slight blush started to colour his cheeks.

Triss snorted.

“You don’t consider me .. dangerous?”

“Well.. what I meant was.. that you are.. well might be .. as seen.. as.. oh Maker.. As a mage you’re dangerous but as a person you are far more reasonable to use your magic to bring good to the people rather than wreak havoc on them..” – he stuttered awkwardly.

A gentle smile graced her lips. He was cute when he was blushing..

**Wait. I did not think that right now.**

“Tell me about yourself commander. We’re going to work together after all.”

“And.. erhm.. what would you like to know?”- he inquired tilting his head to the side.

“I heard from Varric that you were in Kirkwall. In the circle?

“Ah, that.. yes. I was a knight commander of the Kirkwall circle before it went down.”

“Why did you become a Templar?”

He smiled at her. A true innocent smile lighten up his features. He looked handsome.. ‘Damn.’

**Why do I think about him as.. handsome.. He’s a _shem_ and not a person I would consider a..**

“I started my training when I was very young but I could not join the order until I was 18 years old. I wanted to protect people and the world from evil magic and the people who.. abused their powers.”

“Do you call it protection if they did not have freedom to leave the circle? As far as I understand they spent all their lives in a tower under the watchful eyes of Templars who looked for the smallest sign of corruption.”

“Well, yes. But if any of them were to be possessed or turned into an abomination the Templars were needed to be there to intervene.”

“So.. you saying that you personally would be happy to live in a closed house where you are watched all the time?”

Cullen shook his head. He also blushed and looked away.

“So.. you joined the Templars to protect all the people? Regardless of their origin or race?”

“I was in the circle. As you must understand it was filled with humans and elves. No one was treated differently because of their race. They were powerful and dangerous or simply disobedient or quiet..”

“Do you mean tranquil?”

He sighed. He looked uncomfortable.

“I joined the order to protect people and not to judge them. Whatever the order.. has committed over the years.. it’s not an excuse.. but I have seen what a leniency in supervision can lead to Herald. I would not recommend for that to happen here..”

“Leniency or freedom Commander?”

‘I think that’s enough.’

**Why? He did not answer any of my questions yet. He’s good at not providing the answers.**

The Commander was intently looking at the Breach now. He sighed.

“Whatever decisions or choices I made while being a Templar.. I do not want to repeat them here.. We’re the Inquisition and I will make sure we are all treated as equals regardless of our race, colour or beliefs..”

‘You’re not mad at him. Think rationally. Somebody else has stepped on your toes but you’re trying to blame Cullen for it..’

Triss looked at the Commander for a long time. He was a man who had seen many things. She suspected that he went through a trauma in the circle. On the other hand if he was a second in command and he must have seen things he did not agree with. She wasn’t really interested in particulars but it proved that he wasn’t just a simple guy in a metal suit. A very attractive guy in a metal suit. He wore his metal suit well.

**Hold on..**

“Thank you Cullen. I appreciate your time.” – she thanked him and turned away completely missing a baffled look on his face.

She climbed the stairs towards the Chantry.

“Varric, I need a drink.” – she declared evenly.

“Sure.” – he agreed puffing his cheeks for a moment.

They proceeded in silence towards the tavern where they sat at a lonely table at the back with a round of local ale. Sera sauntered towards them with her own half-way-through tankard. Definitely inebriated at this point.

“Whatss up?” – she slurred.

Triss and Varric sniggered in unison.

“We’re having a serious talk and a game of Diamond Back? Want to join? – Varric suggested.

“Yup. I’m on it. . in it..”  - Sera propped herself on the table and then properly on a chair. She smiled widely.

“The Herald of Andras--- asss… te. Wow!”

Triss couldn’t refrain from sniggering into her ale. Sera kept looking at her with wide eyes.

“You’re something.” – she declared looking at Triss. Varric shot her a glance while shuffling cards.

“True. She’s definitely .. something..”

“And why’s you sssudenly agrees wiss me?”

Varric proceeded in talking to Sera who was slurring and laughing too loudly. Triss looked into her tankard.

..the gold flecks of his eyes reminds me of the fire crackling in my hold..

**What?**

Triss shivered and took a long breath.

“You’re alright Zany?” – the dwarf inquired while distributing the cards.

She nodded absently still thinking about the Commander. He was a handsome man. A _shem,_ yes. But still handsome. She thought he was aware of his own attractiveness and yet she found it baffling that he was blushing and behaving awkwardly while talking to her. Did it mean that he..? No. Definitley not.

She drowned the tankard in one go. And then waved at Flissa asking for another one. Varric smirked and Sera rolled her eyes while waving her cards around.

“Yourr in it or not Herr-ald?” – the other elf slurred again.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas’ POV. He cannot resist looking from the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter written from Solas' POV. In between the longer ones.

His eyes followed her from the shadow. He did not mean to but as he was coming back from his walk he noticed two figures standing at the Haven’s gates. From the distance he thought he recognised them wrong but as his feet carried him closer he admitted without doubts that it was indeed Lavellan and .. Cullen. Commander was flustered as he was explaining something to the elf. She was looking into his eyes smiling wildly.

The sight of her smiling made his heart clench. He was not supposed to feel this way. He was not supposed to care. And yet, he did.

His feet brought him closer but the pair either subconsciously or deliberately ignored his presence and walked through the gate towards Lavellan’s cabin. Solas did not want to stalk them but his curiosity took the better of him. He kept to the shadows and followed them. Cullen kept some distance between himself and the elf and yet he walked a bit too close to Lavellan in Solas’ opinion. They stopped at the open door and bid each other goodnight. Cullen stood a bit longer even after the door closed. Then he rubbed his hand over his face and started walking towards the Chantry.

Solas let out a long breath. She did not invite him in. Was that a victory? He was not sure.

He followed the Commander and went to his cabin. As he undressed and prepared for bed he found himself thinking about Lavellan. If he was honest with himself he would have admitted that the elf occupied his mind for majority of the time. Even if she was not around his thoughts were with her. He was confused. He should not indulge himself in this kind of thoughts. He had no future with her. His only concern should be about the anchor. For it to survive. As long as Lavellan was alive that should be enough.

Really? His treacherous heart asked him. He knew he started lying to himself. But admitting the truth was terrifying and making him vulnerable. Or so he thought.

He did not stop thinking about her when he laid in his bed. He remembered the feel of her arm on his. The feel of her body in his loose embrace. The gold of sunlight spread on her cheek the other morning. Her sleepy gaze and gold freckles dancing in her eyes when she finally looked at him in the eyes. And the smallest of smiles showing on her lips. How badly he wanted to draw her to him and taste her. How much he wanted to put his both arms firmly around her and never let go..

“Enough!” – he cried into the dark. He was panting. His breath was ragged as if he had run a hundred miles. He should not be thinking those things. She was a distraction from his goal. A temporary diversion tagging along his path. He could not deviate from his target. He must stay on the path and fulfil his promise..

What about _her_? His treacherous heart asked him again. She was.. well.. he needed to .. keep his distance. Stay strong and resist the temptation of smiling at her, seeing her smile back, hearing her laugh and laugh with her, holding her close and ..

“Enough!” – he cried again but with less fervour. The ball of breath caught in his throat made him realise that he was trying to fight a battle he had already lost. His own treacherous heart had already surrendered itself to the wit of the golden eyes..


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss returns to Hinterlands and recruits Blackwall. She seems to be fascinated with the Wardens. Solas is not amused.

Two days later they found themselves back in Hinterlands. One, to check on the refugees and two, at the behest of Leliana who wanted them to find a Grey Warden. They also planned on going to see Fiona in the Redcliffe village.

Triss was walking next to Varric asking him thousands of questions. Cassandra and Solas did participate at the beginning but they relented after some time. The Herald was insatiable for knowledge though..

“So.. Anders was a Grey Warden?”

“Well.. technically.. he still is one..”

“So, what is he like?”

Varric looked at her a moment longer than usual Solas noted.

“Funny at the beginning. Determined and crazy at the end. Why do you ask?”

“You know a Grey Warden. You spent a decade knowing him..”

“Don’t remind me..” – his interjection was accompanied by Cassandra’s grunt.

“.. you must know what makes a Grey Warden special!”

“Ahh! .. Nope. I don’t . They keep their secrets way too close. Anders was never one to share. And he disliked talking about Wardens in general. He became one to avoid imprisonment or something.. it wasn’t a true calling as he mentioned once. So no, I don’t know what makes them special..”

Triss sighed and walked in silence for a while. Solas thought it would mean the end of questioning but he was wrong.

“Do they take anyone into their ranks? Like they did with Hawke’s brother?”

Varric stopped in his tracks.

“You _read_ my book?” – he asked incredulously

“Well..”, she blushed slightly, “I found it on a desk in the Chantry. And since nobody was claiming its ownership I borrowed it for a time being..”

Varric’s eyes reached to the Seeker. She furrowed her brows but was walking in silence.

“I see.. well.. since you read it then yes.. we met a Grey Warden’s convoy in the Deep Roads and they took Carver with them. He became one of them and.. as far as I know he’s doing well for himself.”

“So you know about his whereabouts?” – Seeker snarled at the dwarf.

“Wait, what? I did not say that. The last time I heard, which was quite a while back.. he was doing fine..”- Varric defended himself.

Triss sighed and glanced towards Solas. He did not miss that.

“So.. what’s about Anders glowing? Is it like my hand? Green and flashy?”

“Oh no. He was more like skin cracking and blue light flashing.. Justice was such fun.” – he admitted sourly

“Justice?”

“The spirit that joined him? You know, the one responsible for the close connection to the Fade and all that shit..”

Triss smirked and cast another glace at Solas’ direction. He noticed it as well. Was she trying to wind him up?

“Did he talk about his adventures as a Grey Warden? I guess that they all have some great stories to tell..”

“Blondie was one of a kind. He talked a lot but not always about what you wanted him to. He was quite good at deflecting serious questions and answering you with one.. A trait I find very suspicious in an individual..”

“As if _you_ could give a straight answer Varric” – Cassandra snorted over her shoulder.

“I think that when you are interrogated, Seeker, you are very unlikely to provide straight answers. You never know where they may lead you after all.. “

“Fighting the evil and sorting out humans’ mess?”- Solas joked.

“Hardly.”

“Exactly.” – Cassandra and Varric spoke in unison.

“Why are you so interested in Grey Wardens Zany?” – the dwarf turned his attention to Triss.

“Because we are to meet one and I think it would be good to know a little more about them beforehand..”

“So.. you are not interested in their heroics or surviving the impossible odds and being the only ones to slay the archdemons?” –Varric teased.

“Well.. a bit maybe.” – she admitted blushing slightly.

The light blush and sparkle in her eyes looked good on her, Solas thought. And then he averted his gaze back to the road.

They were approaching the Crossroads and corporal Vale to hear the latest news. He was happy to report that the situation was stabilising and the refugees were participating more in day-to-day tasks. Also more people joined the Inquisition ranks which allowed them to be trained and protect the area a bit better. He repeated his request for a healer as they were lacking skilled enough mages.

They followed the path beyond training area and climb the hill towards the nearest Inquisition camp where they decided to settle for the night. The last thing for today was to search for the Warden near the lake.

*

Three hours later they found themselves back in the camp. They were exhausted. They went to the nearby fortress and dealt with its occupants. Then they fought a demon which appeared after they completed a ritual. Triss’ curiosity could be blamed for that. And on their way back they closed a rift and recruited Blackwall who left them no room to argue about joining a fight against looters.

He was not what Triss expected. So she asked him questions about the order and himself. The Warden was cautious but smiled a lot. Solas thought that he was unaccustomed to being the centre of attention and tried to hide his uneasiness.

Once they have settled in the camp it was dark. They were to stay here for the night then. The soup prepared by an Inquisition scout was distributed among them as the group sat around the fire. Triss was still asking questions.

“So, you want to find out what’s happened to the rest of the Wardens?”

“If it’s possible”, he grunted, “I think the Inquisition may benefit from this knowledge as well.”

“What do you think that happened? Do you have any secret messaging system in a case like this?”

‘As if _he’_ d know.’

**What do you mean by it?**

‘Nothing _da’len_. Ask your questions. They are so amusing..’

**You’re mocking me..**

‘And you’re staring at the poor Warden with a blank expression on your face’ – smugness seeped through her voice.

“No, not really. At least I’m not aware of that. The orders do not change after all. And this.. situation is definitely an unusual one.”

‘Hmm.. that’s one way to describe it, that’s true.’

“Is  there anything else you could tell us?” –she asked hopefully.

“We are far less interesting than you think, milady.” – Blackwall admitted between spoons.

“But you are more than just fighting darkspawns, right? – she insisted looking at him with sparkling eyes.

“Well.. I guess we are..”, Blackwall looked into the flames,”.. more than soldiers following orders. But our main purpose is to fight darkspawns.”

“Yeah, I bet Blondie would have agreed on that. Not.” – Varric snorted

“Who’s Blondie, if you don’t mind me asking?” – Blackwall asked confused.

“He’s a Grey Warden like you. I met him in Kirkwall..” – the dwarf started slowly.

“He’s the mage responsible for destroying the Chantry.” – Cassandra said flatly.

“Aaaand that’s a way to kill a perfect story.” – he admitted shaking his head.

Two elves laughed at that. Varric and Cassandra were glaring at each other and Blackwall was glancing around the group.

“I assume there is more to it then. Well.. maybe you could tell me more about this Inquisition of yours since I am to be a part of it.” – the Warden suggested.

The pair of golden eyes moved from Solas’ to Blackwall’s. She regarded him with the same level of curiosity as before and Solas tried to quench an unfamiliar feeling inside his stomach. _Jealousy_. He recognised it then. He was jealous of the way Triss was looking at the bearded man. Of the way she inclined her head towards him and spoke softly and cautiously as if not to scare him of the immensity of the plan to save the world. The Warden grunted a couple of times and asked questions of his own. Mostly he asked about the size of forces and soldiers training. Cassandra intervened then since Triss was less familiar with the subject. Still she was looking at Blackwall with fascination in her gaze.

Solas gulped and looked away. He should not feel jealous. She was a free woman in her beliefs and decisions. If she decided to stare at the Warden with big puppy eyes then so be it. His heart did clench again. He swallowed the bile in his throat at a mere thought of Triss sitting closer to the man in question and him wrapping his arms around her lithe figure..

“Solas, I think we should retire for the night.” – her voice just a foot away shook him from his thoughts. “Are you coming?” – she gestured towards one of the tents.

They were to share a tent again it seemed. He glanced towards the others who were also rising from their seats. His eyes returned to Triss and he nodded. Then he followed her quietly.

A small victory, he supposed. At least she did not decide to share her tent with the Warden. His heart started unclenching slowly. That is not a victory if she does not sleep in your arms. Why did he continue to torment himself like that? He laid down on his bedroll and looked to the side at the elven back. He could feel that she was falling asleep. He longed to have her nearer and put his arm around her.

He sighed and moved his gaze to the ceiling . The Fade could not come quick enough to chase away his tormenting thoughts.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss has found a set of ancient elven armour in the Forbidden Oasis. Solas is helping her to put it on.. kind of.. (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:  
> da'len - child, young one  
> fenedhis (a curse)  
> vallaslin - blood writing

“Where’s Lavellan?” – Solas asked Cassandra who was perched on the railing above the small waterfall next to the entrance to Solasan Temple. She looked at him creasing her eyebrows.

“I think she wanted a moment to herself Solas. You were not exactly subtle in expressing your feelings about her clan after all..”

He bowed his head. He did it again. His conceit and knowing-better attitude took the better of him. Lavellan was teasing him about her clan’s traditions and he replied by making fun of them. Also with sarcastic comments. He apologised afterwards but by that time Lavellan stopped smiling and did not look at him. They have separated about an hour ago and he decided it was enough time for her to calm down and maybe accept his apologies. Again.

“Which way she went?” – he enquired.

Cassandra pointed towards the slight dune of sand and a small passage between rocks.

He walked in the shown direction repeating to himself what he was to tell Triss as a way of apology for his inappropriate comments. The longer he walked the more convinced he was than she would simply laugh at him or smack him. She expressed her anger before after all.. it was coming to the surface slowly like rising water or cracking like a whip. He hoped she would be in a forgiving mood.

The path led him towards a small cave barely seen between the trees. He could feel the Mark’s magic so he followed through. After a few more minutes of walking the cave bent down and then split into two corridors. He concentrated long enough on the Mark and chose the left passage. The walls were glowing faintly and he assumed it was with magic. Yes. He confirmed it by touching the wall. Gentle tingling of an old and powerful spells lingered on these walls. He speculated that it lead to something valuable. How Lavellan could have passed unharmed? He hoped she was unharmed.

A small whimper and huff startled him. He stopped and looked round the corner. The passage led into an opening in a middle of which he could see Triss. Her back was to him. Barely clothed. She was struggling to get something off her left arm.

_“Fenedhis!”_ – she exclaimed annoyed.

His chuckling reverbed around the cave. Triss stilled and looked behind her shoulder. Her gaze mortified.

“Do you require some assistance Lavellan?” – he stepped into the cave.

“This thing doesn’t want to come off!”

“Maybe because you put it the wrong way in the first place.” – he approached her slowly taking her in. Even with a smirk gracing his lips he had to swallow at the sight of her. Her old armour was on the ground and she was clad in her essentials which were leaving little to one’s imagination.. he was surprised to discover than her lithe frame was covered by such an amount of muscles. Nicely defined muscles. His eyes roamed her form with wonder and pleasure.

“Could you help me instead of gawking?” – she asked abruptly.

His eyes found hers. His smirk widened.

“What will I get in return for my assistance?”

She opened her mouth to come with a smart retort but found nothing. **Bastard.** He was still looking at her waiting.

“What would you possibly want from me for your help?” – she asked cautiously.

“Hmmm..  a few things.. come..” – he dropped his gaze towards her thighs – “.. to my mind.”

**No. He didn’t suggest.. that they.. no. He didn’t.** She could feel blush spreading across her cheeks. His eyes lingered for a moment on her lips and then rested on her eyes.

Her breathing was still erratic when he stepped to her and grabbed the piece of armour she had tried to take off. He struggled a bit but managed to free her of it. Her arm was reddish and bruised. He shook his head touching her arm with his hand and healing magic at the same time.

Her gasp brought his eyes to hers again. They were staring at each other for quite a long time. Even after he dropped his hand as he finished healing her.

“It’s the other way around Lavellan.” – he broke the silence.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Let me show you. If you will..” – his smirk came back.

He looked around and as he guessed correctly they were standing in an ancient armoury. Lavellan found some pieces of elven armour which reminded him of the elves of old. He started rummaging through the chests and pieces of armour scattered across the floor. Most of them were in ruin but some were quite well preserved. Magic of old lingered on them.

“Ahhh.. “ – he dragged in satisfaction. He turned to the other elf and beckoned her to approach him. He didn’t want to miss seeing her walking towards him in her current state of undress. The movements of her muscles were so graceful that for a moment he lost his track of thoughts.. well.. his thoughts went into a different direction. Something about silk sheets and.. he shook his head to get back to the present. Triss was standing in front of him her eyebrows still furrowed.

“Let me help you with this.”

He put the chainmail over her head and fastened it to one side. His hands encircled her waist to make sure the chainmail was pulled tight and yet was not constricting her. He then proceeded with the pauldrons and outer layers of the armour. He kneeled as he was fastening the armour around her knees and ankles. His hands moved upwards to her thighs to check the condition and fit. She was still blushing and it pleased him. A lot. He rose from the ground still keeping his hands on her hips. His hands travelled to her back where he checked for sharp edges. She was so close to him then that he could see small flecks of gold in her eyes. Small row of freckles on her flustered cheeks. Her scent was intoxicating and he could not refrain from saying into her ear.

“Amazing..”

“W-what?” – she asked breathlessly.

“Amazing that.. the armour is in such.. good condition. It must be.. quite old.. “ – he blinked a couple of times and focused on examining the pauldrons.

“I believe you’re all set.” – he declared after a few breaths.

To get his bearings he turned to examine the rest of the treasure.

Triss looked at herself and touched different parts of the armour.

“How did you know how to put it on?” – she asked suspiciously.

Solas stopped rummaging through a chest for a moment. He graced her with a knowing smirk.

“I’ve seen such armours in the Fade. I have also witnessed the memories of how to _properly_ put it on and off.”

‘Fade, sure. Whatever you say.’

**What? What do you mean?**

‘Nothing _da’len_. Don’t think about it now. Just.. make sure you know how to take this beauty off, so you don’t require his assistance.. again.’

Triss groaned loudly which earned her a raised eyebrow from Solas. She shook her head and Solas let the question drop. He returned to picking at the chest’s contents. After a while during which Triss was walking around to check the fit of her armour, he picked up a few pieces from a chest and made a happy sound.

“I believe I have found another set of these.”

Triss looked at what he was holding. Dark, almost black pieces with bits of gold and purple and a silver chainmail.

“Will it fit you?” – she asked

“We’ll see, won’t we? It may require some dusting off and slight repairing but I think it is worth it.” – he decided.

“It looks decent but is there anything special about it apart from being filled with magic?”

“You can feel it?” – he asked incredulously.

Triss nodded. He glanced towards her Mark. It may be that or her magic. She was sensitive to all forms of magic he had discovered. She activated the magic protecting this place without problems or probably even noticing it. He assumed it was the magic of old which helped her discover and reach this place. Her Mark. His Mark. His magic. Magic of old. He shook his head again as his eyes linger on her form. In this elven armour she looked like one of the People. In this light her _vallaslin_ was almost invisible and for a moment he could pretend..

He closed his eyes. Better not to think of what might be. Better not to hope and dream about.. her.

“Shall we go back to others?” – he suggested quietly.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas apologises for his behavior and Triss decides to leave him behind. Is it the right decision?

“Lavellan.” – she turned towards the voice. “Still sore after our last.. encounter?” – he smirked.

Triss smirked on her own.

“Sore? No. The only sore thing was pride, Pride.” – his eyes turned to slits. Ahh, he got it. Well done, she congratulated herself. It was his fault anyway. He should not have teased her all the way back to Haven of what had happened in the Oasis. What happens in the Oasis stays in the Oasis. That’s right.

“You’re full of sunshine and joy today, I see.” – he continued smirking.

“Yup. That’s what Varric would have said! I’m all happy and content as I do not need to worry about anything else but my own self.”

Solas sighed and shook his head in disapproval. His blue-grey eyes were boring into hers. He was staring at her with a mixture of curiosity and malcontentment. 

“Whatever happened there.. I was not.. well.. I didn’t mean to embarrass you or make you uncomfortable Lavellan.” – he admitted.

“But I thought you meant every single word you said?” – she fainted surprise. In fact she was teasing him. Testing her own theory.

He straightened and looked her in the eyes.

“I guess I deserved this.” – he admitted quietly. “It is my own weakness and conceit which led to the situation we are now in.”

Triss tilted her head to one side. He seemed to be sincere. At least now. And yet she could remember his laughter and glint in his eyes upon seeing her half-naked.. She could remember his hands lingering on her waist and arms and.. She averted her eyes to focus on a nearby tree rather than on his stormy gaze. Damn him and his beautiful eyes.

‘Since when you think his eyes to be beautiful da’len?’

**Shut up, you. You’ve been there and seen everything. I don’t need to make myself an idiot in front of you as well.**

‘I think he regrets what he said.. or suggested anyway.’

**I think he meant every single word and now he is embarrassed by saying them out loud.**

‘Maybe. Maybe not. You never know with men.’

**What do you mean?**

‘Nothing _da’len_. Men are simple and yet so complicated. They sometimes make you happy and sometimes .. well.. longing for something you cannot have..’

Triss was quiet for a moment. Still looking at that damn tree to avoid Solas’ glare. Eventually she gathered the courage to look at him again.

Calm eyes and small apologetic smile welcomed her.

“You can be an ass but at least you can recognise it.” – her statement made him smirk again.

“I believe that’s a compliment. Or at least.. I will take it as one.”

“I’ll be heading to Hinterlands again. “ – she turned to look at the Breach visible behind Solas’ hut.

He kept looking at her with a small smile playing around his lips.

“When do we leave?”

She met his gaze.

“I’ll take Vivienne this time. I suspect you’d like to have some time to study the scrolls you found in the Oasis..”

His smile vanished and she could swear that he saw a glint of fear in his eyes.

“Ah.. I see.” – moment of silence when he looked at the ground. “The Enchanter is skilled and should be capable of protecting you, I’m sure. I assume you’re taking Seeker and Varric as well?”

She shook her head.

“No. I will take Blackwall and Sera. It’ll be good for them to see the fruits of our previous efforts and get out there.. Besides.. the three of you need some time to rest..It will be good to all of us. “

“What about you Lavellan? When you’re going to take some time to rest?” – he asked stepping closer to her. Concern marred his features.

She stilled her breath for a moment. Damn, he’s smooth. One moment he can be haughty and annoying and the next all gentle and caring.

“I-I’m fine Solas. Well, I feel fine. Besides we need to go back there and expand our presence..”

“I’m not saying you should not go back. All I’m saying that you need to think about your own needs as well. Maybe it would be more beneficial for you to rest at least for one more day..”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’ve already made the arrangements. We’re going out tomorrow morning.”

He sighed. His eyes slowly scanned her face.

“I shall work on the scrolls we found and hopefully by the time you have returned I will have something interesting to share.” – he stated calmly.

She left him with a little smile and soft greeting.

\----------

His calm was a lie. His consent to let her leaving without him was a lie. He wanted to keep her in sight all the time. It was easier to attribute his feelings to the Mark and the need to protect it at all cost.. but that would have been a lie as well. He was getting attached to Lavellan. He was thinking about her all too much. Maybe her departure and some distance will help him to temper his feelings towards her.. That also was a lie. He realised right then, while seeing her retreating figure, that he was to be scared and disquiet because of her absence. He had already started missing her.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss got hurt. Solas is almost losing his control. he tries his best to remain calm.When she returns she is the centre of his attention.

An inquisition scout passed him on his way to Adan’s cabin. Solas looked at him for a moment stretching his body after all night’s work in front of his cabin. He was translating the manuscripts found in the Oasis. They were fascinating and he was somehow grateful to Lavellan that she gave him some time to study them. He hung his head. Honestly, he would do almost anything to be at her side now. He was worried. A few heartbeats later the same scout hurries past him. Carrying an armful of healing potions.

Anxiety hits him, so he follows the scout. He spots him in front of Leliana’s tent.

The spymaster stops talking when she spots Solas questioning gaze.. She beckons him to step closer.

“I realised it was only a matter of time till you heard of her condition..”

His brow arches in response. Leliana sighs.

“The Herald.. she was injured during a battle. I heard there were bears involved and she..” the rest of the sentence is lost to him. His mind focused on the “she was injured” part. No!. Not possible. No.. no.. no no no no.. He keeps repeating the word in his head.

“Where is she?” He asks flatly.

“Master Dennet’s farm. Vivienne is doing her best but they ran out of healing potions and she is unable to travel in her current condition.”

This will not do.

“I could get to her quickly. I could heal her..” He starts saying but Leliana waves him around and he follows her to the Chantry.

They enter the War Room where he sees the War Table for the first time. But nobody is focused on it. The rest of the advisors are gathered in one corner discussing something vividly. The conversation silences upon their arrival.

“We need to make a decision .” Leliana declares standing at the side of the table.

Solas, unknowingly, takes Lavellan’s spot. He leans against the table and looks at the markers.

“I believe that if we send enough potions she’ll be able to recover.” Cassandra states calmly.

“It may not be enough..” Solas cannot help himself.

“What you want us to do then?” Cullen interjects. ”If we send a courier he will reach her within two days..”

“It might not be enough..” Solas repeats.

“Then what? You have a better idea?” The otherwise stoic Templar shots at the apostate.

Solas recalls Commander’s smile from the other night when Lavellan laughed at his jokes. He was flushed and yet so captivated by her smile.. Solas had suspicions that Cullen was harbouring feelings toward Triss.

He sighed and stated.

“I could reach her within two day and if the potions fail I will be able to heal her..”

“No. You need to stay here.” Cassandra stated sternly.

“Why?” he asks calmly.

The silence follows. He looks at every one of them but they avoid his gaze.

Cassandra sighs before she admits. “The Herald requested for you to be protected should anything  happened to her. You are the most knowledgeable person regarding the Fade and the Breach.”

The air left his lungs. Triss thought about him as  a _contingency_ plan. She .. she.. His throats clenches. She is more important than me. I need to get to her to help. She is the one this world needs. The thought makes his head spin and he’s glad to be leaning against the table. They look at him with a mixture of anxiety and disbelief. He does not blame them. They do not understand.

“I need to get to her..” he barks.

“We’ve already..” Josephine starts to say but he interrupts her.

“Do you have any idea how precious she is?”

“To the Inquisition.. or to you, Solas?” The spymaster inquiries softy.

“She. Has. To. Be. Protected. At all costs.” He emphasizes every word looking the spymaster straight in the eyes..

“Nobody denies it but we cannot let you go.” Leliana states calmly.

“So you’re going to do nothing?! Just sit and wait?!” He is raging and the emotions take the hold of him. He’s irrational and he knows it. For a moment he does not care. He lets it all show clearly on his face. Then he turns around and walks out of the room and the Chantry.

He paces around his cabin gathering the most important and useful things for his trip to the Hinterlands.

A soft knock on the door interrupts his business.

He opens it wide ready to pounce.

“You cannot go Solas.” Cassandra’s voice is small yet steady. She walks inside. He lets her in closing the door behind her.

“Why? Why should I listen to you?”

The Seeker takes a look around as if she was searching for something to focus on. Eventually her gaze sets on the fire place.

“The Herald.. _Lavellan_ requested to keep you here. No matter the reasons or ways. We could have lied  to you Solas. We could have denied her condition but I wanted you to know the truth. I know that you.. _care_ about her. And she needed you to be safe just in case..”

“She asked you to do so? To stop me from going after her?” He asks incredulously.

Cassandra looks straight in his eyes when she replies. “Yes.”

He stops his pacing and sighs. He trusted her before so why not now.. He sages and sits on his bed. His head low. He’s fighting a battle between his emotions and better judgement. After a moment he looks at the human and acquits.

“I’ll stay..”

Cassandra smiles and nods before leaving him alone.

*

“That is not a matter of debate!” He shouts at the Enchanter. “You failed to protect her. No matter how much you claim to be proficient you still failed..” Solas is at the brink of lashing out and she sees it.

Triss holds out her hands and he gathers her in his arms. Then he picks her up and turns to take towards the gate.

“I may be failing at healing skills but I do not think I’m far from being proficient my dear.” Vivienne replies coolly. Solas turns to face her.

“You prefer to hide behind false assurances and impediment results. The safety of people and future of Thedas is far from your concern. I pity anyone who places their trust in your hands Enchanter..”

“Only because I did not have enough power to..” the mage starts to reply hotly only to be interrupted by Sera.

“She’ alright now, innit? What the frock to talk about. The bears were like many. Waaay too many and the rift was there. No friggin way we could do that all..”

“You care only about yourself, so don’t talk as if you..” Solas’ hands tighten around Triss’ body.

“You elfy elf stop your yapping and leave me alone. You think you’re the only one who cares? Sure.. pfff.. live your own stupid life like that.. who cares..” She muttered angrily climbing the stairs to Haven.

The small group consisting of the advisors and some inquisition soldiers gathered outside the gates to greet the Herald. The group was approaching Haven slowly allowing Lavellan to stay in her saddle. She was in pain and Solas could see that from her posture. The moment they were at the walking distance he approached them. Triss smiled at him. Then she grimaced and hissed. He could see that she was feverish and gravely wounded. She tried to dismount the horse only to be caught by the apostate waiting hands and cradle in his arms. Then the blaming started.

“I’m sorry I could not be of more help.” Blackwall approached them a few paces before the first flight of stairs. Cullen stopped at the warrior’s side. They both looked at the elf with concern.

“It’s alright Blackwall, you’ve done your best.” Triss shifted slightly in his arms.

“Not enough though milady.. I’ll make sure to make it better next time.” He replied solemnly.

“It’s okay.. we were not..” She tried to reassure the warrior.

“Enough!” Solas cut in. Triss looked at him. Her face was so close. Her hands around his neck and her thumbs caressing the base of his neck. He sighs.

“We should get you to the healers. And you need to rest.” He continues more calmly.

“Take me to my cabin Solas.” He nods.

“I’ll make sure you’re not interrupted.” Cullen assures them.

Solas moves up the stairs and then to her cabin. He lays her on the bed and starts to move away.

“Solas.. please stay..” Her hand gripping his vest had him stopped from moving away. Eyes looking all over her taking her in. Her pleading and tired eyes, chapped lips and flushed cheeks. She is beautiful. He want to lean in and cares her . He takes a breath and nods in response.

Then he sits on her bed and starts unwrapping her bandages around her midsection. It’s all bruised and red but he can heal that. He hopes so. Her eyes catch his and she stares at him with a small smile.

He pours his healing magic into her and she shivers. The healing spell takes its effect on her and she starts to drift away. Just before the slumber takes her she manages to whisper. ”I’ve missed you Solas.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The advisors are making her angry. Then there’s Sera. She thinks about Cullen. And his anger. And there’s Solas. Also, the Iron Bull at Storm Coast.

“We’re saving the mages!” She shouts letting the door to the war Room wide open after storming out. She leaves the Chantry in hurried steps only to be stopped by a man by the entrance who invites her to go to the Storm Coast to see the Iron Bull and the Chargers. She asks a few questions and then agrees to give it a thought. The young man, Krem, leaves shortly afterwards.

She took a few steps and joined Leliana in her tent. The Spymaster was happy to hear that a group of mercenaries was eager to join them although she pointed out that if they are from Tevinter the Inquisition would need to be vigilant. However, she promised to send Harding to scout the area. Triss left her tent feeling a bit better. At last, they were planning on moving forward. On doing something positive and for the cause and yet her heart was disquiet.

Triss sighed and kept staring at the Breach.

**Damn thing. Can it be closed already? I want it gone!**

‘Hush you. I think you’ve been a bit on the edge recently. What’s wrong?’

**If you don’t know what’s wrong with me then I am really in trouble.** She laughs sarcastically.

**We have the invitation to the Redcliffe castle to see Alexius. We should go as soon as we can. The mages cannot be left under his control.. and if what this Tevinter mage says is true then we need to hurry.**

‘I agree. But maybe you should go to the Storm Coast first. You may need some.. assistance later..’

**What do you mean?**

‘Just trust me on this. Haven needs to be protected and as the Inquisition grows you need more capable people to protect the common folks.’

She sighed and started walking slowly towards the tavern.

**I guess Cullen would like some more help with training the soldiers. He mentioned to me that the Templars are good but he may need someone from the outside who does not share the views of the Order..**

‘A group of mercenaries can be helpful with that..’ I supplied gently.

**How do I even do this?** She stopped in front of the door and leaned on it. **I am not capable of deciding for them.. for all the people here.. and it seems that the advisors are letting _me_ to make all the decisions. Not even letting me.. they just ask and hope I give them the correct answer..**

‘You can do this Triss. You have a good heart and you should follow its advice..’

**The lives of many depend on my decisions. The lives of our soldiers, the common folks, the Templars, the Chantry sisters, the spies, the mages, the.. ahhh.. I am not the best person to take care of all this. I am as confused and terrified as they are..**

‘And yet you do it. You find strength in small things and push forward. You may not be the most resilient person but you know what needs to be done..’

**I know I cannot fail them..**

‘And that’s why you will succeed _da’len_. I believe in you.’

**You sound like Solas sometimes, you know?**

I sniggered. Sure, right, whatever you say. Nobody sounds like the Wolf but the Wolf.

She sighed again and entered the tavern. She spotted Sera sitting at one of the table playing idly with her knife while drinking a pint.

“Whaz up? Her ladybits graces me with her presence?”

“Hello Sera. I think I may need some company to relax..”

“And you think I be best company? You r-rright, I am!” She agreed happily and waved to Flissa to serve them the beers. Triss did not protest and accepted the drink trying to relax.

“So.. are you going anywhere nice next? ‘Coz I wouldn’t mind go to a nice place. Maybe with a lot of sun and solid ground. Not a desert though, a hot place like.. rather a nice place with buildings and stuff.. and they may have gardens. I like flowers as they attract bees. Hey, did they tell you about bees yet?”

“Yes. Cullen mentioned something about this idea of yours..”

“Yeees, that is glorious! You should do it.. I mean find it.. well. The bees. I bet you going to freak out if you use it on a .. someone.. you could try to use it on someone at least.. maybe that elfy elf? Just to see if it works though..”

“I don’t think I should be trying bees-grenade on Solas. He may get offended. And then get angry and then find out who did this and _I_ will be blamed.”

“Naaah, he would get over this. But what if he hurts the bees? Like crush them or something? That I would not like.. No, it’s better to try one on Cullen. It would be more fun..” She added the last bit in whisper.

Triss snorted into her tankard causing her beer to splatter all over the table. That made Sera laugh as well and they both were laughing and crying at same time. It earned them some curious glances from the patrons and Flissa.

“You know, I may actually ask Cullen to look at this bees-grenade idea of yours.” Triss admitted after the laughter and giggling subsided to the point where she could breathe normally and form coherent words. Sera was beaming at her.

“You won’t regret it oh Lady Heraldness.”

Triss left after another tankard feeling less frustrated. She was to get the mages. That was clear. She needed to get her plan to work and maybe appease the Commander. If she brought him some good mercenaries to help him then he would be more forgivable to accept the mages, right?

‘I don’t think it will work this way _da’len_.’

**Oh, why are you destroying my perfectly laid out plan?**

‘Because Cullen is going to be angry anyway. Especially if you bring in the mages.’

**What do you know? I don’t even think you’re real.. you just some voice in my head, so you cannot tell me what to do..**

‘ _Da’len_ you’re drunk.’ I sighed. She got drunk on two pints. Heavy weight. Seriously not.

**I am not.. maybe a little.. it doesn’t matter and..**

“.. I will not be talking to you anymore..”

“And why is that?” The question posed by a lilted voice made her turn her head. Solas was looking at her expectantly as she stopped just a few feet away. She realised that she turned towards his cabin rather than going to her own. Also, she said the last part out loud. She groaned.

“I was talking to myself..”

“That is a late habit of yours it seems.” He remarked amused.

“Really? I have not noticed.” She answered hauntingly trying to fight the colouring showing on her face.

“ _Atisha_. Your secret is safe with me.“ He smirked at her. She groaned again. That elf.

“Good. . because.. I am going to the Storm Coast and I would like to take people I can trust..” The smirk on his face disappeared. He eyed her cautiously. His hands previously at his sides now went behind his back.

“Who will be going with you?” His words were quiet and measured.

“I was thinking about taking.. Cassandra. She definitely needs to get out. She may be actually a bit too eager to go.. I think she has some unspent energy she needs to.. “

“Lavellan. Who else is going?” Solas interrupted her ramblings.

“Oh, yeas, sorry. So, Cass and then I think.. Blackwall wanted to go as well. He said anywhere, so I assume that a nice place with a sea may do him good. Of course that means that some..”

“Triss, who else?” His voice was stringed and his jaw clenched. It seemed that he wanted a quick response rather than her explanation.

**Next time he will learn not to laugh at me.**

‘You’re cruel da’len. Although seeing him all wind up and at the edge of snapping at you is .. fun. Cruel but fun.’

“Well.. I thought about taking someone I could trust.. so.. maybe I may need to take.. hmmm..” She pretended to think as she tapped her index finger against her chin.

His chest released a long-held breath. He closed his eyes for a moment to calm his nerves.

“Could you please stop this charade and tell me who is going with you?”

She looked into his eyes. And they were filled with pain.

“Cassandra, Blackwall and.. you.” She whispered at last and bit her lips awaiting his reaction.

A flash of happiness showed in his eyes which she would have missed should she not been staring at him.

**He’s happy to come with me. Oh, you sweet elfy elf. You worry about me. Ahh..**

‘Of course, he is. Have you forgotten how he snapped at Vivienne for letting you get hurt? Or how he lectured Sera for days about her being irresponsible? Or how he argued with the advisors about them paying more attention to their own agendas rather than to you?’

“ _Ma serannas_ Lavellan. When do we leave?”

She smiled. “Eager to go?”

He smiled back. “A bit maybe.”

“Well I think we may go tomorrow afternoon, so we can give some time to Scout Harding to check the area first.” He nodded in agreement. “If you have some time maybe you’d like to tell me again about this strange rune you found in the Oasis’ scrolls?” She asked him gently.

His eyes lit up. And a smile appeared on his lips.

“Of course, I’d be happy to do so. If you have an hour of two to spare..”

“It’s not so late yet, so yes.” She nodded at him.

Solas turned around and open the door to his cabin.

“Come on in. I have found a particularly interesting passage about the Temple itself. Something that may interest you in particular.”

Her curiosity picked she entered his cabin.

Oh _da’len_ , little you know that you are entering the Wolf’s den. Be careful my dear for you’re trying to play against a master of the Game, I sighed.

**\------------**

“Chargers! Stand down!” A rumbling voice and a pair of big horns were indications enough that this was The Iron Bull. Triss sighed and approached him carefully. She just saw him charging at an enemy and crushing him with just one blow of his weapon.

He sat on a rock and they spoke a bit. He even admitted being a Ben-Hassrath. Which basically translated into being a qunari spy. Wait, did we not act upon some Ben-Hassrath’s gossip already? She needed to ask Leliana about it.

Bull seemed honest in his willingness to join the Inquisition. At least he was worried enough to do something about the Breach. He offered the services of his company and himself.

“..you also got me. I can fight all sorts of enemies. The bigger the better.” He smiled widely.

She looked him over. He was a big one. And a very muscular on top of that. And he was not wearing a shirt..

“So.. you mean you’re ready to be my protector and fight on the front lines?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”

“Very well.” Triss nodded. “You’re hired.”

Bull grinned happily and shouted to his lieutenant, Cremisius Aclassi aka Krem, to get ready to depart for Haven.

“And if you want me to stay just say the word.” He gave her a one over now. She smiled.

“Well, that’s an interesting offer. I wonder if I should consider it seriously though..” She tilted her head to one side looking at him. He flexed his muscles. She continued to smile and him until she heard a voice.

“Lavellan, I think it may be time to continue on our quest.”

‘Here he comes..’ I sang in a pitched voice.

She ignored my comment looking towards the elf and sighed. His eyes were guarded and his jaw clenched. Ohh, she did upset him. She looked at their companions. Cassandra and Blackwall were discussing something. He was pointing towards the sea and she was nodding.

“Yes, you’re right.” She gave the qunari another once over and then advised him to go to Haven and report to Commander Cullen. Bull said his goodbyes but not before grinning at her.

The group gathered at the seaside and looked around. They knew what the objective was and yet the scenery gave them pause. The Storm Coast, so far, lived to its name. The sea was lapping at the shore. The wind was carrying the small droplets hitting their faces. The view was both beautiful and miserable. And it was raining. Constantly.

“Come on.” Triss motioned to her companions to move along the pebbled beach. “We have a long day ahead of us."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group continues their exploration of the Storm Coast. Cass has uncomfortable questions.Triss is reckless in her behavior, which earns Solas’ ire. She doesn’t like to be treated like a child.

“That was foolish of you!” He grabbed her arm and dragged her close to him. She smiled forcibly.

“Nothing happened Solas. So, don’t worry..”

“How am I not to worry if you are jumping right into the danger? You could have been hurt or worse..” His voice wavers at the last word and he drops his eyes aside.

**Why did you do it? Why did you?**

‘Because I needed to test a theory I had. That’s all. No harm done.’ I replied calmly.

Triss was furious. She tried to remain calm and collected although her lungs were ablaze and her jaw clenched. She was furious at me. And she could not take it on _him_.

Solas stood close, his gaze on the horizon. He was trying to get his nerves under control. His hand remained firmly on Triss’ arm. She could see the blues and violets dancing in his eyes as he was scanning the area.

“Don’t do this again,” he said sharply at last just before walking away.

“Solas..” Triss whispered.

**Why did you do it?**

“Herald, are you alright?” Cassandra approached Lavellan her eyes looking for any injuries. She stopped closely with the Warden just a few feet behind.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Triss admitted dragging her hand across her face. “I just got scared and panicked for a moment. But I’m unscathed just a bit shaky..”

“Should we return to the camp or set one here?” The Seeker took a look at the area. There was a small clearing where a fire could be built and the rocks at the sides offered some level of protection from the wind.

“I’m not sure..”

“We could build a temporary camp here and rest for the night. And tomorrow we could go down that hill and further along the shore.” Blackwall suggested. He did not say much since they got to the Storm Coast. She suspected it had to do with him trying to compensate for the lack of vigilance in Hinterlands. Also, he was not a talkative man but Triss hoped that he would open up eventually.

‘Yes.. because all those who are supposed to say things are so willing to open and talk about them..’ I remarked amusedly.

Triss ignored me. Well, an achievement on its own. Ah no. She was still mad.

She nodded to others and they dropped their bags. Solas approached them and put his backpack down.

“I’m going hunting. We need food,” he declared and left without waiting for any response.

Blackwall left to gather some logs which he claimed to have seen a way back. Cassandra was amassing small branches and cones for the fire. Triss was unrolling the bedrolls.

“He cares about you,” Seeker looked at Triss who stopped and looked back at her questioningly. “Solas,” she clarified. “You should have seen him when he heard about you being injured. I have never seen anybody so livid. He accused us of doing nothing to help although medics were with you and we sent the potions. He was so scared and so desperate to help..”

“He was scared about losing the only way to close the rifts, Cassandra. Don’t read into this any more than I do..”

‘You’re lying to her and yourself _da’len._ ’

“I disagree,” Seeker shook her head. “We all are concerned about your well-being. And we care about you being safe. But to Solas, it’s more.. it’s like he is .. well.. in love with you..” A small blush crept into her cheeks and even with scarce light the elven eyes could see it.

“He’s not,” Triss replied shortly.

‘You know better,’ I commented.

**You shut up.**

‘And yet you wish he was.’

**I don’t want to hear that. It’s not true. Stop it.**

‘You may deny all you want but I know what stirs in your heart. You should..’

**No, you don’t.**

‘.. follow it.’

She turned away from the Seeker who was observing her silently. After a few moments, she broke her hesitation and suggested.

“Maybe you should ask him? Have you tried to talk to him since you returned from Hinterlands?”

“I have,” Triss replied curtly. She hoped that Cassandra would drop the subject and talk about something else. She had enough things to worry about and did not need worrying about the so-called romance. Although, she noticed his heated gaze a few times. No, she shook her head, it was nothing.

“Maybe he does not know if.. you like him? Or he’s unsure. Or too scared to ask? No, he doesn’t seem the type to be scared to ask about anything actually. So, I think he cares too much and is afraid of being rejected..”

The Seeker continued her pondering out loud while arranging the things for the fire. She barely finished talking when Blackwall returned. His arms full of logs. They had enough wood for the night. He staggered a few of them in the middle of the makeshift fireplace and rearranged the kindling. Cassandra huffed at his actions but said nothing. She was still deep in thoughts.

“Anybody would like to do the honours?” He asked jokingly.

Triss sighed and moved to the fireplace. She conjured a small fire in her fist and held it to the kindling.

“Clever,” Blackwall admitted.

“Magic has its uses,” Triss shrugged.

They sat around the fire in amicable silence. She started crushing the herbs she collected earlier on a stone expecting Solas would need them for cooking. _Whatever_ they were going to eat tonight. They had dried rations in their backpacks but fresh meat would be quite a welcome change.

Just on cue, the elf entered the camp area. He dropped three nugs on the ground and then started cleaning them.

“Would you like some assistance?” The Warden asked politely. A short nod was apostate’s answer. The big man kneeled next to Solas and they continued their work in silence.

“So, what do you think we’ll find in that cave tomorrow?” Cassandra broke the quiet of the night after the longest moment of silence.

Triss shrugged. “Anything is possible.. but I expect more of red Templars.”

“It’s a shame what they have been reduced to. The Order is not what it used to be.”

“Cullen would have agreed with you on that. Let’s hope they can still be reasoned with.” She sighed before standing up and delivering the herbs in front of Solas. He stiffened and then she heard a quiet _ma serannas_. She returned to her bedroll.

“You’d like to talk to them then?” Cassandra was surprised.

“If we have a chance, yes,” she admitted before continuing, “although I cannot be sure how they react about the alliance with the mages.”

“You want to ally with the mages?”

She levelled the Seeker with her eyes. “We talked about this.”

“You mean _you_ talked about this to us. _Not_ that we have agreed on that.”

“She actually shouted it if I remember correctly..” Solas piped in while arranging the nugs above the fire to roast.

“Half of Haven have heard,” Blackwall grinned.

Triss was staring at them furrowing her brows. Her lips a thin line.

‘ _Atisha._ They will listen to you, don’t fret.’

A smug smile appeared on Triss’ face.

“Since half of Haven heard me then it would be wrong for the _Herald of Andraste_ to change her mind on this matter now, right?”

Cassandra sighed, Blackwall smiled and Solas chuckled.

*

The morning greeted them with a light drizzle. The caress of water drops on her cheek woke her up. She opened her eyes and looked at the grey cloudy sky. Storm Coast. Marvelous place, she sighed. She hoped to be the first one to rise but alas the apostate was already awake and packing his belongings. When their eyes met he smiled gently before dropping his eyes and returning to the matter in hand. She sighed again and rose to her feet.

Cassandra and Blackwall managed to get their belongings packed before it started raining. Heavily. The group moved towards the shore and then along the beach. The sea was relentless and the rain mixed with salt water was making Triss nauseous. Another lovely day in this forsaken place. Constant lapping of sea and cawing of seagulls  was getting on her nerves. Not a good sign before a potential fight. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain calm.

‘You can do this,’ I reassured her.

She ignored me. Oh, I see. Still mad.

The first group of red Templars met them just after they crossed the entrance to the old Dwarven outpost. Luckily, the Seeker and Warden were ready and took them out easily. They proceeded carefully and met another group of “friendly” Templars. It seemed that they fought for several hours before they could catch a breath. Both warriors were covered in gore and blood, so they happily cleaned themselves with the sea water in an old abandoned port.

Triss heaved trying to catch her breath. A lyrium potion tasted so vile on her tongue. She preferred to use them only when necessary. With curiosity was she regarding the other elf who was checking the warriors for injuries. He did not take a potion and he seemed just a bit tired.

**Damn elf, how he can be so calm? Not even worn at all? What’s his secret?**

‘Oh, if only you knew,’ I cheerfully intoned.

**What do you mean?**

‘Ah, so when it comes to talking about _him_ , you can hear me? I thought you went deaf with all this _ignoring me_ act.’

**Nevermind.**

I snorted in reply.

The said elf approached her. “Are you injured?”

“No Solas, I’m fine. Just a bit tired. Also, I may have developed a bit of a headache due to this rain,” she admitted quietly. “But we should proceed before we wear out our luck.”

“I agree. They are not injured,” he pointed to the warriors, “so I suggest we push ahead. Hopefully, we encounter less of them now.”

She gave him once over before walking towards another passage.

He must be using a shield spell or something to look so pristine. Maybe I should ask him about it, she thought. Well, he has definitely had a lot of time to come up with plenty of tricks. And I assume that one of them would be to keep the gore and blood away, I mused.

‘Maybe you should ask him about it once you back in Haven,’ I suggested. I was met with silence.

Another fight and a bit more of a headache now. Triss sighed leaning against the wall. She felt a hand on her back and soothing magic seeping under her skin. Solas. She did not need to turn around or look at him. His magic was familiar. Sometimes it felt as familiar as..

“There’s something on the other side,” Blackwall’s voice interrupted her pondering. She looked at the place to which the Warden was pointing. She noticed another of the elven artifact and smiled thinking it would be easy enough. Right after she noticed that the path was leading over a small stream and the bridge was half way collapsed. The distance was not far and yet..

Hmm.. it is feasible, she mused.

A quick approach and casting of fade step spell right at the end of the bridge propelled her to the other side. She grinned triumphantly. And then she felt a wave of magic landing behind her. Solas. She wanted to turn around and beam but was suddenly grabbed and shoved against the wall. Her staff cluttered to the ground. He felt his body heat and his hands around her shoulders when he hissed into her ear.

“Have you lost your mind?

Confused she looked at him. He was angry. No. He was enraged. His nostrils were flaring ad he bared his teeth slightly. She swallowed.

“I’m fine Solas. What’s the problem?”

“Problem? The problem is that _you_ don’t care about your own life. You act irresponsibly. Like a child. You could have miscalculated and ended up down the stream or..”

“I can manage on my own Solas!” She barked in his face. He was so close. Just a few inches away.

“You’re irresponsible,” he grumbled looking frantically at her face.

“Oh, live a little!  I cannot be all grim, you have filled the position of a grim elf already. And, I’m not a child, I can do things.”

“You’re a child if you act foolishly.”

“I’m not a child and stop treating me like one. I don’t need a guardian and you’re not my father to scold me!” She pushed him away.

Surprisingly, he stumbled back. He felt like she slapped him across the face. He was being irrational in his approach. She might have acted foolishly and irresponsibly but she was a woman and she knew what she was capable of. She has proved that to him regularly. He was being over protective and over sensitive and over caring. He needed to stick to his plan and keep his distance. He sighed. It was not going to be easy.

“ I don’t want to be your father Triss. Far from it,” he admitted looking sheepishly, “but you need to consider your own safety. We need you.”

“I know,” she sighed as her anger abashed slightly by his words.

He took a step closer.

“I..”

“Herald, are you alright?” Cassandra’s worrying voice carried out from the entrance. The warriors found a way around the bridge and now joined them in the cave.

Triss looked a moment longer at Solas who moved his gaze to the ground.

“Yes, Cassandra, I’m fine. And, “she raised her hand placidly, “don’t try to lecture me. Solas has already explained what he thought of me.”

She stomped around the elf and went to activate the artifact.

**_Fenedhis._ ** **May the Dread Wolf take you..**

I laughed. Hard.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are back in Haven, getting ready to take the next step. Triss asks Solas to practice spellcasting with her. And then gets into a heated argument about Dalish with Minaeve.

She was hovering on the edges of his hut trying to not look too obvious. He caught her gaze a couple of times and she noticed him smiling gently.

‘Talk to him finally. There's no way you can do it on your own. And he'd be happy to help.’

**Shut up.**

I think she was still angry at me for… whatever I've done. Ah, humiliating her in front of her companions while she landed with such s grace on her backside and slid down one of the hills at Storm Coast. Yes. That was glorious. And funny. Even Cassandra could not refrain from laughing. Triss was embarrassed so much that she spent the next few hours in her tent, dreading the moment he would join her as they shared it.

‘Or you can just pretend you've stumbled upon him and then steer the conversation towards—‘

She stomped her feet in the snow surrounding Haven. Puffs of white powder danced around her feet. An achievement. After taking a long breath she walked towards him.

“I hoped you'd get the courage to approach me eventually.” Solas teased her before she could say anything. He looked at her flustered cheeks with pleasure.

Triss’ lips thinned but she swallowed her pride and decided to go ahead with her request. “Will you help me with the barriers? I’m not very good at casting them and I may need them if…you're not there.”

He looked at her for a few moments while she was worrying her lip. It was distracting. Well, he could help her with that and she was correct to work on her defensive spells. She didn't have much practice at casting them. But teaching her would mean he would need to spend more time with her and that…could lead to trouble. He suspected that there was no way out for him. He felt himself falling for her. She's already changed so much…

A soft sigh left his lips but he nodded to her. “I assume you'd prefer to do it away from prying eyes?” She nodded. “In that case, there's a perfect spot just on that hill,” he declared pointing across the frozen lake. “We can start whenever you have time.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you, Solas. And I can start right now if you're free.”

Her eagerness pleased him greatly. He wondered if she was that eager in all her endeavours. The tasks she completed in Hinterlands or Storm Coast showed him that she was committed to this cause and she took her duties seriously. He admired that about her, as he was the same in that respect.

After collecting his staff, they left Haven and walked towards their destination. He noticed that the Commander tried to catch her eye while they passed near the training grounds. Triss nodded and smiled at the human which made Solas’ heart stir with unease. He wasn't jealous, far from it, and yet…

“Focus now,” his quiet voice grounded her. “Expand it further and maintain it for as long as possible.” He touched her arms again and pulled them back. She slouched a bit. Not the kind of posture he liked on her. Heard her intake of breath before she rolled her shoulders. He moved his hands down her arms and stretched them to the sides. “Build a sphere around you, let it float and linger on you, then push it away from your body.”

He took a few steps back to take a better look at her. Also to calm down his racing heart. Being just inches from her, touching her to correct her posture and show the movements, inhaling her scent, and seeing her smile at him, did not help in maintaining his composure. He was lucky that her back was to him. So she did not see the way his eyes roamed her figure, lingering for a moment too long on her round backside. The long forgotten desire washed over him. Knowing what may come next he sends a chilling spell across his body. She turned around at that moment and caught his eye.

“Why you're shivering? Is everything alright?”

A knot formed in his throat made him unable to reply straight away. He looked as her hand extended towards him and her fingers landed on his arm. She tilted her head, searching his face for an answer. What was he supposed to tell her? That she was the source of his discomfort? Or rather his inappropriate infatuation with her was the reason? She was just a few breaths away.

“Would you like to rest for a moment?”

“Lavellan, it's you who tires casting spells. I just stand here.”

“Maybe you tire looking at me?” Teasing in her voice.

A soft smile appeared on his lips. His hand went to her face and before he realised his fingers brushed her cheek, catching an intake of breath. “I would never get tired of looking at you, Triss.”

Her eyes widen and a rosy colour appears on her cheeks.

“You're such a tease, Solas.” She whispered turning away.

Is that—? Ah…it seems that…she may be just affected as I am. Solas’ thoughts were racing through all the possibilities and consequences if they were to chance it. He sighed. It would be kinder to refrain from it. For both their sakes. He needed to take a step back and stop encouraging her. It would be unfair to allow her getting close without knowing the truth about him.

Then tell her, his treacherous heart whispered. He considered it for a moment. What would she say if she knew the truth about him? Chased him away or accepted him? The question stayed with him for the rest of the day.

They were walking back to Haven once he's decided it was enough for the first lesson. She beamed at him understanding that it meant he would do it again. A small smile and glints of happiness in her eyes made his heart pick up speed and warmth spread through him. A mere mortal, a Dalish on top of that, the one who cursed loudly using his title, was responsible for breaking down his defensive walls surrounding his old heart. He'd never thought it would happen to him. So fast, so thoroughly, so completely.

His pondering was interrupted as they were met by the Tevinter Mage at the gate. Dorian, as far as he remembered from their brief meeting in Redcliffe.

“Well, hello again! It's a beautiful day to start an adventure, is it not?” He greeted them happily, scoffing when looking at Solas’ attire. The elf maintained his rigid composure, all softness gone from his gaze. “I'm glad to see you in good health and alive,” he continued returning his attention to Triss. “Where can I put my things and rest before we leave on our dangerous mission?”

“You're assuming that this is Tevinter and we have you servants to help you? Also that you're the one to decide about the Inquisition business?” The elf spits through his teeth.

“I am not assuming anything!” Dorian bristled angrily at the elf. They stood a few feet away, ready to pounce.

‘Oh, lovely.’ I commented. Triss stood there looking at both of them with nostalgia. They reminded her of her clan and the constant boasts between the hunters. I groaned. She wasn't to do anything about it.

“If you gentlemen finished now… I would ask you, Dorian, to follow me to the Chantry where we can see Josie about your accommodation. And Solas,” I turned to him, “be so kind and meet me later to discuss the findings I got from Minaeve.” They both gaped at me for a while with their jaws open. Solas was first to regain his composure. He nodded in agreement and left us. Dorian gave me a once over. “Well…that was...”

“Unexpected for a savage elf? Please do not underestimate me just because of my pointy ears. I will surprise you again.” I looked at him pointedly. Triss was quiet. “Now, follow me if you please.”

**Ohh...that was amazing! How did you know what to do? And what is it about Minaeve?**

I laughed.

‘I can be helpful, you know.’

**I've noticed that. _Ma serannas._**

**‘** Well, all you have to do now is to find a valid excuse with Minaeve to talk to Solas.’

**Oh**.

‘Yes, oh. You want to talk to him again, am I right?’ I felt rather than saw her blushing. Oh well. We'll see if she can resist Wolf’s charm for long. And I can see the cracks in his defensive walls.

After leaving Dorian in Josephine’s capable hands Triss stopped by Minaeve’s table.

“May I help you, Herald?” She winced at hearing the Shem title.

“Please, Minaeve call me Triss. I do understand the need for titles but this is a bit too much in a private conversation.”

“And how private is supposed to be this conversation Her- Triss?”

“Well, would you have anything about that demon claw I brought you from the Storm Coast?”

“I believe everything is in the report I submitted to the Inquisition. You can read it yourself if you're that interested.”

“What about that big tooth…from that giant?”

“Again the report is-“ She stopped from repeating herself as she looked at Triss worried face. “What exactly are you looking for? Maybe if I knew it would become easier to assist you.”

The habit of worrying her bottom lip was getting on my nerves, as I had to heal it on a daily basis. And she was chewing on it again.

‘Come on, tell her the truth.’

**What if she laughs?**

‘Go on.’

“Would you have something you have not shared with the Inquisition yet and it would be…beneficial for mages?”

The other elf looked at her contemplating. “You want to impress someone.”

**Damn it! Have I got it written on my face?**

‘No, I don't believe you have. But it's good that you just admitted that to me. And yourself.’

**Shut up.**

‘Stop being rude and answer her _da’len_.’

“I guess I do?” She smiled sweetly, trying to look innocent.

Minaeve returned her smile and got a parchment from between some books. “This is still something I'm working on and the results are impossible to foresee. Yet, there might be something of interest to you. And…him.”

She was staring hungrily at the parchment before lifting her eyes and meeting a knowing look of the circle apprentice.

“What makes you think it's…him?”

“Because he asked me about the same thing two days ago. He's clever and very knowledgeable.”

“Yes, he is.”

“It's unusual for a Dalish First to be interested in another Mage, is it not? Especially if he is not of a clan.”

“What do you know of the Dalish?” I could feel her defences going up.

“Don't let the lack of vallaslin on my face fool you. I know what I'm talking about, _lethallin_. I've lived it for a time.”

“You were born to the Dalish?”

“Yes. And I was turned away when I was discovered to be a Mage too many in my clan. I was seven years old. Left to die or starve in the woods. Luckily, I was found by the Templars who took to me to a circle tower.”

“I'm sorry it happened to you, Minaeve. My clan wasn't like that. The Keeper tried to find different ways to hold us together.”

“Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't matter. My life is good as it is and I'm grateful for the Templar order. They kept us safe, protected us and let us master our talent.”

“Do you…dislike Dalish?”

“Fen'Harel can take them if he will. They are too narrow-minded to see the life around them. The world is changing and yet they try to resist to change with it. What good can come if that?”

“I see that you share certain beliefs with Solas after all. You could probably have a nice conversation about my people and talk how stubborn and stupid and ignorant we are!”

“It was not my intention to anger you Triss. You asked about my opinion and even if you don't agree with it, it still remains the same.”

Triss was very angry. She came here to find a way to thank Solas for his time by bringing him something he may enjoy to read about and ponder. Instead, she got insulted three times so far. By another elf. Why are they so divided? How can she bring everyone together if even one race cannot be united?

I could feel her distress but decided to not interfere. She needs to learn to deal with such situations.

“Well, thank you for your time,” she said as calmly as she could and turned away to leave.

“Wait! I didn't mean to insult you Triss. Please take the research, maybe your scholar can come up with some answers.”

“Why don't you ask him yourself? You may get along quite well after all.” There was still bile in her voice.

“I've tried but the Ambassador advised me to not interrupt him in his studies. Or he's away…so maybe you can pass the notes to him and ask to take a look.”

“So now I'm a messenger? Fabulous!” She ripped the notes from Minaeve hand and stomped out of the room and then the Chantry. The cold breeze did nothing to calm her down. She was burning with rage and shame at turning into an angry girl the moment her fellow elf started insulting her.

‘Maybe you should reconsider your next move _da’len_.’

She didn't stop. Pounded three times on his door and slipped inside passed him the moment he crack opened the door.

Facing the fire she let her anger spill.

“How can people be such idiots? Why can they not see past their own noses? Does the world really end with their own needs?” She was staring into the fire. Her cheeks burning with all the emotions, eyes holding her tears at bay.

“I would venture into saying that people are rarely interested in anything beyond their own needs, Lavellan. I'm unsure why you're so surprised.” At his quiet statement, her head jerked in his direction. A snarky comment that was at the end of her tongue died at the sight of his bare torso. It seemed she caught him changing his clothes.

And he caught her staring at him. If her cheeks weren't already aflame she would turn to a beetroot red in a matter of seconds. Instead, she glared at his muscles moving when he sighed and went to put on a shirt. Once clothed in a thin shirt with a long opening at the front, he approached her, stopping only a foot away from her.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” His tone was gentle. Maybe he sensed her distress.

‘Stop staring at his muscles and talk to him.’

“I- I wondered if you…” Her eyes lifted to meet his own. He was smirking.

“I can't believe this is happening again. Even my own kin mocks me. And elves say that shems are frustrating! _Fenedhis_! I did not ask for this! I don't-“ her voice broke down and she choked on her words.

“Lavellan, whatever happened I'm sure that-“

“No!” She shook her head and swatted his hand away. “I will not be placated with soothing words. All I want for people is to give me a chance instead of judging my ears! And you don't help either. So- here, have it!” She dropped the notes on his desk and turned towards the exit. His hand grabbed the crook of her arm.

“Talk to me, Triss.” His pleading was met with silence and an attempt to free her arm. In return, she felt his strong arms enveloping her and then the hard muscles moving with his breathing against her back. “Talk to me.” A whisper in her ear made her whimper in surrender.

They stood like that for a few minutes. He breathed in her scent and revelled in the perfection of it. The way it enveloped her and complimented her magic. Her jaw was set and she worked very hard to calm herself. A small strand of curly hair was caressing his collarbone whenever she turned or tilted her head. He sighed and rested his cheek against her head. “Talk to me.”

“I know your opinion of…the Dalish. And I know you barely tolerate us, claiming we are misguided by our beliefs…”

“I’m…well, you're correct.” He admitted, his lips in her hair.

“And others are the same. They see my ears and my vallaslin and they assume, whatever they were taught about the Dalish, to be true. Even other elves are the same. I heard the serving girls talking about Dalish. It hurts to be judged and misunderstood by others but to be criticised by my own kind hurts much much more…”

He's pondering her statement. It was true he argued with her on many occasions, hurting her feelings in the process. He was curious about her clan and how they differed  and yet he assumed her being like other Dalish just because of her pointed ears and the cruel markings on her face. She proved to him that she was open-minded and willing to listen and yet he continued to think about her as ‘one of the Dalish’. Has he not been met with the same level of prejudice when he visited the clans in his attempt to teach them? Was he really that different from them if his assumption was based on a group rather than an individual? And yes, their rejection hurt more, because he approached them as a kin, a _lethallin_ rather than a stranger. And what he got in return was bitterness, anger, and calling him names.

“I'm sorry. I may have been wrong in my judgement of you, Triss. You exceeded my expectations and surprised me on many occasions. I apologise for harsh words I said, even if at the time I thought them just. I know of the rejection you speak of and I feel I have been akin to it. For if we are to do better we need to start with ourselves, by setting out an example.”

She turned in his arms slightly to look into his eyes. There was a tentative smile on her face, a timid gratitude for his words. He smiled at her then, a genuine smile that reached his stormy eyes.

“Thank you for saying that and understanding my reasons, Solas.” And then she surprised him by stretching on her toes and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “ _Ma serannas lethallin.”_

The kiss was not unwelcome but the tingling sensation her lips left on his mouth turned into a shiver shooting straight to his groin. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a step back to hide his bodily response. He needed a distraction, he thought, frantically looking around the room. The notes she dropped on his desk!

“So, care to explain what these are about?” He walked to his desk and then looked over his shoulder arching an eyebrow at her. She smiled in reply.

“Ah, well. This is something I wanted to show you.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redcliffe Castle and Mages.  
> Triss is reminiscing on the past events while the realisation of her own importance weights heavily on her shoulders.

She's gone. Vanished. And he cannot breathe.

Solas continues looking at the place where she stood just a moment ago. There’s nothing there but a slight crackling of magic in the air. He forces his lungs to take a breath even if his throat is constricted by the thought of losing her forever. This should not have happened; he cannot lose her this way.

He still cannot catch a breath.

~

“So, we're in the future? And Alexius is responsible? And you can explain this magic how exactly?” Dorian was assaulted by her questions while they were waddling through murky water, trying to find their way out of the dungeon.

“I worked with him on this. We were discussing theories about time traveling. But it has never worked before.”

“So, you've actually tried this with him? To use the amulet and travel in time?”

Dorian stopped and looked at the red lyrium growing out of dead bodies scattered in one of the cells.

“I said, we tried but it didn't work. I have no idea how he managed to make it work or why he is doing it.”

‘To save his son.’

“Because of Felix?” She related my thoughts and it made the human to turn to her.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because he's sick and Alexius is being ‘mother-hen’ if I recall your words correctly. And that Elder One has promised to save Felix in exchange for me? Just what Alexius said himself.” She shrugged.

“It's insane.” He admitted with an incredulous look at her small elven figure.

“If we are in the Redcliffe Castle then we are in a dungeon down below the castle. We may find some help if we move up?” Triss suggested walking forward, trying to avoid stomping on red lyrium hidden underneath the water. She wore boots but one could never be too careful.

I snorted. ‘If red lyrium was to harm you don't you think I would have done something to prevent it?’

 **Even if… I better be careful.** She replied calmly. **What do you know about it?**

‘You spoke to Varric, you know where it is from.’

**But what is it?**

I pondered whether to divulge that information to her. I guessed that she would need to know more of the future if she was to succeed in changing it. I may as well start by feeding her small bits of information rather than dumping all of it on her in one go. ‘It has Blight in it.’

**Lyrium and Blight? That cannot be good.**

‘It's not _da’len_. As long as you don't stay too long around it, you should be fine. Just don't take any samples with you.’

**Why would I do that?!**

Well, one silly dwarf did exactly that, I thought to myself bitterly. And helped Corypheus to get his creepy hands on it. Ehh. ‘Nevermind. Keep moving.’

They walked in silence for a while until they reached a staircase going both directions.

“Left or right?” Dorian asked.

**Great. Even he leaves the decision-making up to me.**

‘You better get used to it.’ I snorted.

**I'd never wanted to lead if you don't remember. I'd never asked for this damn Mark either.**

‘And yet… here we are!’ I replied cheerfully.

She snorted out loud. “Left.”

~

“So your clan kept all the Mages? None was turned away?” Solas rode up to her to continue their previously interrupted conversation.

She rolled her eyes. “I was the third Mage in my clan, so there was none who needed to be sent away. I know that the previous First was sent to another clan,” she held up her hand at his raised eyebrow, “but it was her decision. She found her mate at Arlathven and pleaded the Keeper to be sent away.”

“How convenient,” he commented with sarcasm.

“Why is it such a big problem with Mages here?” Dorian joined them, gracefully guiding his mount to her right. Triss looked at him ready to reply but was preceded by the other elf.

“Dalish do tolerate magic. Yet, when too many Mages are born they tend to … place them elsewhere. Magic is useful but only when controlled. Anything unpredictable or beyond comprehension must be feared.”

“Solas, since you claim that you are _not_ one of the Dalish how do you know of our customs?”

“I have travelled and met with clans, Lavellan. I do not speak of anything else but my experience with them.” His gaze shifted and became softer. “It seems that your clan may have been more… reasonable in the approach to magic but still, if there were too many Mages born at the same time, what do you think would have happened? Would they be allowed to stay and practice their craft in the safety of the clan? Or sent away?”

Triss was quiet for a few moments. “We cannot have too many Mages in one clan.”

“And who decided that? What number is too many, Lavellan? Who decides who leaves and who stays?”

She shifted in her saddle uncomfortable with his questions. Also his heated and penetrating gaze.

“The Keeper would have been the one to decide.”

“And why is that? Who decided they are the best to make this decision at all?” He rose from his saddle and leaned closer to her. His horse rode close to hers and their legs brushed. She shot him an incredulous look.

“Take a moment to think about it, _lethallin_. What makes any Keeper qualified enough to decide about turning their own people away only because they are gifted with magic. After all, your Keepers are chosen because of their magic, isn't it so?” He clenched his jaw and strode his horse to ride in the front.

 **What an absolute ass!** Triss shouted.

‘He's right, though.’ I admitted to her.

**You're taking his side?**

‘No hunter or Warrior bears the same fate as Mage in a Dalish clan. Why?’

She furrowed her brows but kept quiet.

“I think that Mages have it better in Tevinter,” Dorian remarked.

“Are you _serious_ in that statement?” The Elven mage snorted.

The human pushed his horse to get to Solas’ side. “At least we don't forbid magic. We actually welcome all of it. No matter how proficient one is.”

“Oh? So it's fair for everyone?” Solas snorted again.

“Say what you may but we do not turn people away because they are Mages.”

“No, you don't. You would not want to waste a potential slave even if he is a Mage.”

“That's absurd—“

“Tell me, Dorian. How many elven Mages are there in Tevinter?”

The human choked on his reply and pursued his lips. He cleared his throat and wet his lips.

“That's your answer,” Solas commented sarcastically. “None.”

~

They followed the path of red lyrium only to end up in a corridor with a door blocked from the other side. Triss leaned against it and counted to ten before resuming their wanderings. Dorian was quiet and pensive, he felt as if he needed to assure her they would make it but he could not find in himself to lie so blatantly. After all, he could be wrong.

She stuck him as a strong yet closed person; with a high drive to make things right, compassionate and caring. He noticed the way she looked at her companions, how she genuinely worried about their good opinion and well-being. It wasn’t a surprise that she leaned towards her kind, so her lingering looks at the fellow elf were obvious to him. He concluded that they were at a very early stage of their relationship as others did not comment on it openly; in fact, they seemed to be oblivious to the energies woven between two elves. The other elf, Solas, was more composed and reserved than her; and yet Dorian could see the fondness in his eyes whenever the woman addressed him or approached him with questions. Even when they argued it was more a battle of wits rather than a heated dispute.

He trailed behind her in silence offering small remarks on the state of the castle and the feeling of magic, trying to gauge her reactions. She was shocked by the sights and he did not want to aggravate her any further.

~

“I'm surprised you decided to remain with us, Solas.” The Seeker looked at the elven apostate across the fire. Triss stirred her stew and fished some unnamed piece of vegetable to chew on.

“And why is that, Seeker?”

“I thought you'd be unwilling to stay now that we have found a way to seal the Breach.”

Varric cursed under his breath and spit a piece of bone into the crackling flames. Dorian was leisurely sprawled on his bedroll taking small sips from his bottle. They were on the way to the Redcliffe Castle to meet Alexius and gain Mages alliance.

“You think I worry the Inquisition throw me in chains?” Solas snorted. “I take my commitment seriously, Seeker. Come what may I will see this through.”

“That's commendable,” she admitted. “I can't assure what will happen in the days to come.”

Triss bristled in her seat next to Solas who tensed almost imperceptibly. She could feel his mana spiking for a brief second before he reined it in. Noticeable only to her due to the fact they trained together and she was attuned to small changes to the regular stoic aura surrounding the elven Mage.

“And what do you suggest will happen, Cassandra?” She asked in a whisper.

The woman glanced at her with surprise. “I'm not suggesting anything, Herald. It's just—“

“You're suggesting that the Inquisition may put him in a circle or worse. Is that how we treat our allies? People who actually help us?”

“Herald, I simply said that I didn't know what would happen once the Breach has been closed.”

“And yet, you decided to threaten him! Is it because he's a Mage? Well, surprise! Your Herald is also a Mage, so are you going to threaten me as well?”

“Zany, I think that Seeker has a tendency to threaten everyone. You should not take it personally,” the dwarf mumbled between bites. That earned him a heated glare from the Seeker. He decided to ignore it.

“I will tell you what's going to happen. Nothing! The Inquisition claims to be better than the Chantry unless we cannot learn from the past mistakes! We will not threaten our allies and will not lock them up against their own will!”

She could feel everyone was looking at her now. She was livid at the mere thought of seeing Solas in chains, dragged to the circle tower against his will. Even the soldiers accompanying them and arranging their camp stopped and stared at her. Her anger made her stand up from her seat and throw her bowl to the ground. The soothing tendrils of Solas’ magic were not enough to calm her down. She was too riled up. I didn't interfere, letting her emotions guide her this time.

“Or are you planning on putting me in chains as well once we have sealed the Breach? Are you waiting only for an opportunity to seize me and lock me away? And all other Mages? If the Inquisition is to act like this then I don't want to be a part of it anymore!” She turned away and left them; passed the stunned soldiers who did not dare to stop her. She reached the edge of the far-side camp parameter and leaned on her knees breathing heavily.

“You have to admit that she's feisty,” Dorian commented quietly.

Varric sighed. “She's a good kid, Sparkles. And her heart is in a good place. She knows what's important in life and this,” he made a circle motion with his hand, “is taking a toll on her. I've seen it before; every hero struggles. What makes them great is that they get up after the blow.”

“I didn't mean to upset her,” Cassandra’s brows were furrowed and her lips only a thin line.

“We know that, Seeker. But maybe next time try to avoid threatening her friends, and particularly Chuckles, in front of her.” The dwarf suggested quietly. Solas looked at him curiously. Was it possible that he noticed something? The dwarf was perceptive and intelligent, he had to give him that; he needed to be more careful in his interactions with Lavellan.

“Shall I go and apologise maybe?” Cassandra asked wriggling her hands.

Solas stood up. “I'll go.” Not waiting for their reply he started walking in the direction Lavellan went. He followed her magic easily; they trained long enough that he would recognise her magic everywhere. It was familiar and comforting and now mingled with his own. The Mark made her own magic taste older, more mature, more powerful. He spotted her finally and approached making sure she could hear him. The small tilt of her head let him know that she noticed his presence.

He refrained from touching her although his body yearned to feel her in his arms. It was only to comfort her, he thought. She was affectionate and embracing each other was a common custom in her clan. But he was not of her clan and yet… a few stolen embraces and his body was accustomed to them. He stood rigid unwilling to break the silence.

“Are we to face the same fate, Solas? Repeat the mistakes of the past? Are we not supposed to learn from experience that if something doesn't work we should not do it again?” Her voice was surprisingly calm and yet he noticed a fire burning in her eyes. Which now turned to him.

“I've never wanted this,” she lifted her left palm up then returned it to hugging her own lean body. “I have never asked to make decisions or lead anyone. But I'll be damned if I let this Inquisition treat anyone lesser because of their skills or race or gender or background. Everyone deserves a chance. What you do and how you do it matter.”

She astounded him with her speech. Was it possible that she would be willing to give _him_ a chance as well? If she was to know the truth, would she—? He sighed and looked away. Now was not the time for idle fantasy. He could ponder this later on.

“ _Ma serannas, lethallin_. You didn't have to defend me but I'm glad to know your stance should I ever require your assistance.” He smirked once he caught her eye.

She sighed and relaxed a bit. The fire in her eyes abated by his words. He forged on.

“You're a leader not because of the Mark, you may have been chosen because of it but you remained it because of the decision you make. Every good leader struggles with decision-making; if they don't that only makes them tyrants. And because you've never wanted this you will be good at it. People follow you because you inspire them, _lethallin_. You give them hope.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. Childish attitude and yet he found it endearing at this moment.

“That's why _I_ follow you,” he admitted with all the conviction poured into the words.

Her breath hitched and she looked at him surprised.

~

“That's enchanter Fiona!” Dorian exclaimed approaching one of the cells they passed.

The elven woman looked tired, the red lyrium consumed half of her body, immobilised her and yet she fought. She was lucid enough to reply to Dorian’s questions.

A year has passed since they tumbled through the vortex of the spell. A year during which the world has been poisoned and devoured by the madman and this Blight. A year without the only person able to stop him. A year where her friends and Inquisition slowly died…because she wasn't there.

Triss held tight to the cell bars, keeping her tears at bay. What good can come from crying if all is lost? If they don't make it back, there will be nothing to cry after, nothing to mourn, nothing to feel, nothing to—.

‘Stop it!’ I shouted. ‘Now is not the time to wallow in pity. Go ahead and find others. They need you!’

Triss swallowed loudly and turned towards the exit. The human Mage followed her without protest.

~

“I would feel more confident if we could send more soldiers with you, Herald.” The Commander looked flushed after helping the soldiers to move oil barrels up the Haven stairs. The refugees required more light, and meals, and accommodations. The small village was bursting with movement and life. People and livestock occupied every possible space and Cullen tried his best to keep order.

He stopped his activities when he spotted Triss in passing. She was coming back from the hunt for herbs and was heading towards the main gate. He threw his coat on to keep the evening chill away from his barely clothed body.

“The plan is going to work, Commander. We just need to create a successful diversion and focus magisterial attention on us.”

“If anything goes wrong…” his gaze trailed to one side and he sighed. “Please be careful out there. We need you.”

The pleading in his voice stopped her from expressing a platitude. She looked into his eyes, so warm and caring. Caring? Why would she think—?

“I'll do my best to come back, Commander.” A small hand on his bare forearm and an almost intangible touch of her fingers left him breathless. She scaled the stairs and vanished among the people walking towards the heart of the encampment. The memory of her assuring touch kept him warm as much as his coat.

She walked up another flight of stairs and found herself next to Varric, looking at passing people with a deeper than usual scowl on his face.

“Is everything alright?” She followed his gaze but did not see anything extraordinary.

“No no, just wondering. Where will they all go? Haven wasn't planned to accommodate such numbers.”

“Well, we may start sharing cabins. Mine is big enough for a whole family.”

“And where would you sleep?”

She shrugged. He smiled and winked. Her raised eyebrow made him elaborate.

“I bet there's one cabin you wouldn't mind being assigned to share.”

“Oh? And which one would that be?”

“I don't know but maybe… our resident apostate’s?”

She held his gaze and didn't blush. “Oh, Varric. I'm wounded. I thought you'd let me share your tent!”

“Funny. But there's already one lady in my tent and she's jealous. So… would you share his cabin?”

She shrugged. “Sure. We shared tents so why not a cabin?”

Varric smile was brighter than the fire at his back.

~

Cassandra’s murmuring woke Triss up from reminiscing the past few days. Her feet carried her to the Seeker’s cell. The sight of a tired and ill-looking woman tugged at Triss’ heart. This was the woman whose strength and dry wit she admired; without her being here the Seeker lost her vigour and drive.

She barely could hear Cassandra’s disbelief of her being alive and missed a small strand of hope on her face after Dorian explained their plan. The woman recounted in a shaky and hoarse voice the events of the past year but Triss did not hear her. She looked at the woman's face imagining the rest of her friends in the same conditions.

**Oh, Creators, why was I spared?**

‘Snap out of it! You must open the cell and take her with you. Others are still out there.’

Triss composed herself a bit and started working on the lock. After a few attempts the door was open and Cassandra could leave with them.

“Have you seen the others?” Triss asked in a whisper, dreading the answer.

“They kept us separate. But I'm sure Solas is somewhere nearby.” The Seeker followed them into another corridor full of empty cells, readjusting her worn armour and a found sword to her side. “I could hear him talking sometimes. He mentioned your name, Triss.”

Triss stopped to look at the woman, then swallowed her tears and moved ahead. Dorian continued to ask for more details.

~

‘There's only one way to do it,’ I advised her as she stood on top of the hill overlooking Haven.

**I know. It's just some of them are going to be furious about it.**

‘There's no way you can satisfy everyone, _da’len_. Time is running out and you have to set things in motion.’

**What do you mean?**

‘Make a decision, _da’len_ and stick to it. It's not your first and it won't be your last.’

**I would prefer not to make one.**

I sighed. The future will not wait, no matter what people think, and her future needs to be fulfilled. ‘If you don't make one, I will.’ I informed her coldly. I have given her enough opportunities to learn on her own; enough layaway to play around but Corypheus will only wait for so long. If she doesn’t move things along, there's no way to predict what may happen.

She was quiet for a moment. **Ok.**

She walked down the hill and then entered Haven proper. People greeted her while she passed and asked about her day; new incomers were greedily staring at her as if unable to resist. She placed a small smile on her lips and meandered between them until she reached the stairs next to the Wolf’s cabin.

 _Him_ again. Watching her from above his book he pretended to read, only to avoid incessant questioning from the Tevinter Mage standing outside his cabin and talking to one of the messengers. His eyes lingered on her form a bit too long, making Triss blush. He took pleasure in seeing her squirming under his gaze and a satisfying smirk appeared in the corner of his mouth upon seeing her blushing. Standing up, he closed the book and sauntered to her side.

“Lavellan, I assume that we'll be heading out soon again?”

“Yes, Solas. We need support to close the Breach with Mages’ or Templars’ help. And I think we're ready to go and ask them.”

“So…has the Inquisition decided upon the next step?” A curious glee in his eyes.

“Well, we'll be going to Redcliffe, if you need to know.”

“Have you decided to go for Mages then?” He looked at her expectantly.

“Yes. I'm just going to…” she sighed, “announce it to the others.”

“Ah. If you need a place to hide…” he trailed off suggestively.

She snorted. “What? In your cabin or behind you?”

He leaned closer to her and whispered with a smirk on his lips. “Both.”

“So, you'd like to be my chevalier and protect me from the wrath of the Inquisition council?”

He looked at her with a heated gaze. “I don't think you need a chevalier, Lavellan. Companion, maybe. You're far from being unable to take care of yourself. Your indomitable focus wouldn't let you lose your head in facing danger.”

“Indomitable focus?”

“Presumably. I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine the sight would be…fascinating.” He ended the sentence in a whisper, so nobody else could overhear him.

She blushed furiously and he feasted on the sight. Taking her flushed cheeks and ragged breaths as a pleasant diversion from the routine. She fascinated him to the point he wondered about possibilities with her. If she would be willing to accept him. The smirk on his face was not unkind but it wasn’t gentle.

Oh, my dear Wolf. If only you knew, I thought sarcastically.

~

“Is anybody there?” Solas’ voice reached her ears and she walked faster only stopping in front of his cell. Her feet seemed to carry her only so far, now they refused to move any closer. Her voice died in her throat as she took the sight of him.

“You’re alive? I saw you die. How can this be?” His slender fingers wrapped around the cell’s door while he looked at her hungrily. Taking her all in, noticing every detail about her and also the fact she was breathing heavily. His hand shot out from between bars.

“Breathe, _lethallin_.” He was behind bars but she was the one caged. In her own body. I held her to prevent from falling apart as she was shouting and crying on the inside. It was not the time to give up.

Dorian explained their situation and the elven Mage asked about reversing the process; returning to their present to prevent this from happening. Dorian had to admit that his mental faculty stayed intact even if he was oozing the red lyrium.

“Solas,” she choked.

His gaze returned to her and soften considerably. The crease between his eyebrow disappeared and his mouth crestfallen.

“ _Ir abelas_ , Triss. I could not prevent this from happening.”

Her feet started moving and placed her closer to the cell’s door. She stopped looking at him and focused on the lock. Tears started pouring from her and blurring her vision. His hand encircled her own around a cold bar.

“ _Vhenan_ , please.“ He whispered.

The lock clicked open but she didn’t notice. Her eyes were glued to the elven Mage who opened the door and embraced her with all his might. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and broke down. Sobbing loudly.

I sighed and yet let her have this moment. She needed this to realise her true feelings. Also to remember this for him…

~

“Is that all you’ve got?” Her angry voice crushed the air once she appeared next to Alexius. The coldness in her eyes and set jaw were belonging to another person. The one accustomed to giving orders and wielding power. She barely waited for Alexius’ response before she ordered her soldiers to take him away.

Her cold gaze moved over the Seeker and him before focusing on the arriving party. Hail the King of Ferelden.

As if in a haze he remembered seeing her confer with the monarch and taking the Mages under the Inquisition wing as equal allies. Her dominating aura and decisiveness astounded him.

What did happen? He asked himself the question over and over again. He was glad to see her alive. Unharmed. Victorious.

He was able to breathe again.

And yet…


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss is having trouble to come to terms with the events at Redcliffe Castle.

“I wish the dwarf was with us.” Dorian muttered to Bull as they sat around the campfire. He was cleaning the dirt from under his nails while Bull was polishing his maul. The Qunari stopped his work to look at the Mage.

“You think he would have helped?”

Dorian shrugged, his worried expression buried in Triss’ back. She sat some distance away from the camp, sipping her tea. Alone.

“I don’t know,” the mage admitted.

“I think the elven apostate would have been a better choice,” Bull remarked.

Dorian shot a glance in his direction. “So you’ve noticed.”

“Yeah,” the big guy admitted. “They try very hard to deny it but there is something going on between them.”

“I thought it was like a big thing between them. With all the looks he gives her.” The human mused.

“He’s hiding something, that’s for sure. But he cares about her.”  The Qunari laid down his maul and took off his boots. His feet were cold and wet as everything else due to the constant rain. “Argh, this place is horrible. I don’t mind rain but this constant wetness in the air just gives me chills.”

“You’re not complaining about the never ending trail of undead?” Up till now the Warden sat quietly to the side. His coat was off and he was trying to warm his toes.

“The undead are fine, I mean, to kill. It’s the weather that sucks.” Bull admitted with a wide grin. “It would be great if someone shared their flask with us. It may turn out to be actually not so dreadful then.” He grinned even more widely in the Mage’s direction.

Dorian rolled his eyes but procured the flask and passed it to Bull.

“Shall I go and talk to her?” He asked after a few moments of quiet which was filled with appreciating gasps over the fine liquor from both of his companions.

“Maybe she needs some time to herself,” Blackwall suggested.

“She had a lot of time to herself. I think too much time, actually.” Dorian stretched his arms and then covered himself more firmly with his coat. Bull ran his eye appreciatively over his form but did not comment.

“She’s been extremely quiet these last couple of days, that’s true. That shit in Redcliffe must have been tough on her.” Bull remarked looking over at her form. She was still sitting near the lake, in the rain, holding to the cup of, by now, a cold tea.

“You have not seen her in Redcliffe. When she saw the others sick and oozing red… it was horrible but she held it together. And then she saw Solas and… well... just fell apart. Both of them actually. It’s like the dam that held all the emotions broke down and this was a drop too much.”

“Solas? Falling apart?” Bull mused. “This, I’d like to see.”

“He’s always so calm and composed. It’s unnerving sometimes.” Blackwall remarked.

“Yeah… so for him to fall part…it must be something.” Bull checked his gauntlet and sighed seeing a few new dents. He should have accepted the new armour the Herald offered him. He didn’t want to wear it here though preferring to check it upon their return. Now he decided it wasn’t a good idea to wait.

“Maybe I should not have said anything,” Dorian commented standing up and walking closer to the fire. He stared at the flames for awhile, being oblivious to the look the Qunari was giving him.

“Nah, you’re worry about her. Like we all.” Bull smiled when Dorian looked at him. “But I think they need to figure it out for themselves. They need to talk. And I have not seen them talking since Redcliffe.”

“You’re not with her all the time, though.”

“No. But I saw her either running around Haven with the herbs or training with Cullen’s soldiers or helping Harrit with armours. And it was only three days before we left.”

“You may be right.” Dorian admitted. “I have seen her passing by to see Adan but she walked away when Solas called after her.”

“Then she’s been avoiding him.” Blackwall grunted.

“Seems like it.” Dorian agreed, his eyes glued to the flames. “Maybe they should talk after we’re back from here.”

“Yes, that would be preferable.” The Qunari grunted and wiggled his toes.

~

‘You’re overthinking this’, I told her. Triss has been worried too much now. The stress and the emotions were running through her and instead of dealing with them she chose to deny them. I would not let them to consume her.

**I know what I need to do. I don’t need your help in this matter.**

‘You are running away. Hiding behind duty and tasks to fill your time. You’d be better to face him and the consequences.’

**Do you even know… how frustrating that is? Oh yes, you probably do know!**

‘I know you have feelings for him. Deeper than you are ready to admit.’

The feeling of uneasiness and frustration ran through her but she held her tongue. The cold tea mug got deposed on the ground next to her wet feet. She put the blanket closer around her. It did not keep the rain from making her wet or shiver all over. She needed to get under a roof to get at least a small amount of heat.

‘Go back to camp and change your clothes. You should not get sick but I would not chance it.”

She snickered but got up and walked back to camp. The empty mug dangled from her frozen fingers.

“Ah, I’m glad you decided to join us,” Dorian’s happy grin lighten his face when he greeted her.

She chuckled at him. “Thanks. I’ll go to change. I think I am wet.” And she disappeared in a tent.

“That’s exactly what a man loves to hear from his lady,” Blackwall’s soft comment made the others laugh.

“I bet that’s what the elf would love to hear from her,” Bull admitted quietly and winked at Dorian. “You think he would like to?”

Dorian checked the content of his flask only to discover it being empty. “I’m sure he would. He is a man and has his needs after all. Like all of us.” He sighted. Here it went his back-up plan on keeping himself warm. Now, he would have to rely solely on his magic to keep the chill out. And the rain. And the wetness. And the wind. He sighed again.

“We’ll welcome your assistance,” Triss informed the big Avvar warrior when he requested to join the Inquisition. Then he turned away and started walking to their camp.

“Wait!” She shouted. “You may as well help us with escorting our soldiers.” The warrior nodded and once she checked on her companions they all went back to the Inquisition camp.

~

The journey back to camp was about defending the wounded soldiers and fighting the ever-spawning spirits. Dorian noticed that Triss gritted her teeth too many a time to be comforting. She pushed forward and fought every enemy but her heart was not in it. This needed to be addressed. Luckily, in that old Grey Warden cache they found old artefacts along with a few bottles of fine Antivan wine. Not his favourite but it would do.

At the camp the soldiers had put a makeshift roof above it so the camp get a bit drier than on their previous visit. The Avvar warrior was currently sharing a bottle with the Qunari who was telling him about one of his adventures with the Chargers. Blackwall went aside to check on their equipment and was trying to make sure everybody got weapons according to their skills. The freshly arrived soldiers brought many supplies which were dearly needed in this place. Many of them were to stay here to make sure that nobody got the same idea as the Avvar chief’ son. Dorian used this moment to navigate around the camp and evading the ever working Inquisition soldiers to get to Triss. The others were giving her a wide berth talking in hushed whispers about what she can do once she sets her mind to it. He could not deny that they mirrored his own thoughts. Her resolve and willingness to assist others seemed to be boundless. And yet, he recognised that others saw her as a figure and not a person; scared and struggling. He saw that in Redcliffe and he vowed to himself that he would make sure to do everything in his power to keep her from harm.

“Ah, there you are.”

Triss spared him a glance from above the book she was reading. Her feet were extended towards the fire. Her clothes were mostly dried by now. She took the mug filled with wine without a single question. This bode well.

“I was curious what you thought about this.” He admitted sitting next to her. He was trying to make her feel comfortable to breach the subject of the apostate without any of the soldiers overhearing them. There was no need for more gossips.

“Do you need anything?” She asked tilting her head. She closed her book and put it in her lap.

“Just wanted to talk. That’s all.”

“Of course.” She nodded while staring into the fire.

“It’s good we got them all alive. It will help the morale.” He nodded towards the soldiers sitting at the edges of the camp and cleaning their armour and weapons. He could see Blackwall moving between them. It seemed that the Warden was accustomed to giving orders and caring after those under his command.

“Yes.” That all she said before drinking half of the wine.

“You know I am a good listener once you’ve decided to talk to me,” he supplied quietly. “I know that Redcliffe is bothering you but I’m here. Whatever you need.”

She flinched at the word Redcliffe. Then she drank the rest of the wine and passed him the mug for a refill. Which he did diligently. He decided not to stop her tonight. Maybe that’s what she needed. His eyes caught Bull’s eye and the big guy nodded almost imperceptibly at them. Damned Ben Hassrath. He met enough of them in Minrathus to be wary; and yet here was the embodiment of their power; a big and impossibly skilled spy for the Qunari. Why she decided to accept his help was beyond his comprehension. Maybe she did not realise the extent of their skills? Oh well, this issue will need to wait. There was something else he needed to talk about tonight.

“What I need Dorian is to forget about it. Not to talk more.” Her voice was strained and hoarse.

‘ _Da’len_ , you need to talk about it.’

**Fuck off. I don’t.**

‘Since when do you swear?’

**Since now. _Fenedhis_ woman, get lost. I’m trying to get drunk so I don’t have to think about this. And…**

“…with you here it’s difficult to forget.”

“I’m sorry to bring back those memories but…”

She sighed. She did it again. Said things she thought out loud. Closing her eyes made her head spin a bit. Good. She needed to let go for a moment. A bit of elfroot would have helped. She should have taken a supply from the camp but it was usually Solas who had a bit of it on him so… _Fenedhis_ , her thoughts returned to him again. How was she to forget about the red lyrium and that horrible possible future if she keeps seeing it oozing from her friends and killing them slowly?

‘Just let go.’

**Easy to say.**

‘Let go _da’len_. You’ll be fine.’

She took a long deep breath. “It’s not your fault Dorian that I keep thinking about Redcliffe,” she admitted playing with the half full mug. “Everybody who was there actually reminds me of it. Of what I could lose if I do not follow through. If I fail. And it seems that I do not try to forget about it.” The rest of the wine was drown in one go from her mug. Its empty content shoved towards the Mage. He picked up the new bottle and filled the mug. And then his own.

“I’m scared that I will fail. And then I’m scared that I will not. If that makes sense? What if we discover that there is something more to it? Just like Cassandra said, we need to find who is responsible for it and end them. But they may be something a bit more what we anticipated. And I guess… I’m scared of finding exactly that.”

“I would take small steps first. Maybe trying to survive tonight first, then come back to Haven and then move to the next thing? If you concentrate on big things they may be overwhelming but if you take small steps they may actually be feasible and easier to digest?”

She sighed. “You don’t know what-“ her voice failed her.

A few moments of silence stretched between them. The soldiers were laughing and exchanging jokes and bottles. Cheery that they survived. Grateful.

“What did he do?” Dorian’s voice reached her ears.

“He didn’t want to hear about what’s happened. He said he knew enough to be sure that he would not survive without me being here. He didn’t want to-know about…how he-“ she willed her tears to subside. Took a few sips of the wine before continuing. “-he didn’t care. As if it was nothing what we witnessed.”

“ _Vishante kaffas_ ,” Dorian muttered under his breath. No wonder she had a hard time after Redcliffe. The person who was holding her hand and encouraging her throughout their escape from the Redcliffe castle; the person who looked at her with such tenderness and love was gone; to be replaced by the cold bitchy apostate who can stick a stick up his arse! _Kaffas!_ That was it! He was to have a few words to say to that elf, that’s for one. Maybe also treat him to a fireball or something.

“I know that for him it’s just a possibility… but for me it was real. So real, Dorian. I just can’t-” her voice wavered again, “I can’t simply forget it. And the way he behaved. I remember every second of it. Every single gesture and word. And he-he simply doesn’t want to hear about it. I just,” she sighed and put the mug on the ground, “don’t know what to think anymore.”

Dorian was studying her for a long while. An Elven young woman, clearly intelligent and committed to the cause, working hard to achieve the goals, with good heart and cheerfulness so unlike any elves he met. There was kindness to her, a warmth which attracted others to her. And a beautiful smile and glint in her eye.

She barely was the same after Redcliffe. So, the only way to restore her was to convince the apostate to listen. That’s all she needed. For him to take a moment of his ‘precious’ time and listen to her. If not, Dorian was the one to tell him. His mind. Oh yes. They were returning to Haven after all. And then, he would have a few especially selected words to share with Solas.

That was the plan. And if Dorian decided on something… it usually happened.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triss has issues. Solas has... been stubborn. Fluff and fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the fans who patiently waited for the update.  
> And thank you to my Beta for a quick review.

She caught his gaze following her quick steps leading her to the alchemist hut. Her feet started carrying her even faster and she averted her eyes. Like she did many times these last few weeks. She had been avoiding me, he realised. Even after he offered his apology she did not return to the previous ever-smiling self. On the contrary, where there was a glint in her eyes now was only sorrow, and where he could find blush colouring her cheeks now she offered averted gaze and rigid jaw. It was hard to admit but he did not enjoy her treatment.

It was time to face the music… as long as it played. So his feet were planted firmly in the snow in front of Aidan’s hut although he felt like walking in circles to pass the time. Luckily for him, Dorian was nowhere in sight; less he would offer some sarcastic remarks. Somehow he managed to make him understand, or rather bluntly stated after losing his composure, that he was _an ass without brain_. Being insulted was not a novelty for Solas but hearing it from Dorian and in regards to another elf gave him pause. So he listened to other Mage’s tirade and learned what was troubling Triss for the last few weeks.

The possible outcome for everyone if the magister would have succeeded. People dying by hundreds, being fed and infected with red lyrium, and him willingly sacrificing himself for her.

He sighed at the enormity of his bluntness when she offered the knowledge. Him who always was ready to listen and consider the facts; him who prided himself of being of an open mind and tolerance; him who searched far and wide for any information regarding the force of any kind of magic. He failed miserably by rejecting the one person whom he should have offered his time. And now he was paying the price. Isolated and restricted to his daily routine he spent his days on any research he could find with a limited help from Josephine or Minaeve. But being left behind hurt the most. Accustomed to constant travelling after his awakening he found that even a few days in one place made him restless. And Triss did not take him on any of the missions since Redcliffe.

His toes curled in the snow as he stood his ground. Time to change things and end this foolishness. If she wanted to talk and tell me her thoughts then so be it, he encouraged himself just a moment before the door opened and his stormy eyes met a pair of brown adorned with gold.

“A word if you please,” he spoke and without looking at her walked into his own hut. Only upon her appearing in the corner of his vision he released a tightly held breath.

Facing the fire and holding his hands behind his back he decided to take a different approach with the elf.

“It seems that my previous apology was insufficient,” he started, glancing at her profile illuminated by the fire. The light danced on her face accentuating her defined cheeks and lightly gold skin. He blinked a couple of times to refocus on his task.

“I did none of us any justice by dismissing your explanation of the events in Redcliffe. I have been… informed that you left a lot out of the report you submitted to the Inquisition. I should have realised that sooner,” he admitted turning to face her. “I apologise for my behaviour and if you’re willing I’ll be happy to give you my time whenever you feel you need it.”

She continued looking at the fire as if she did not hear him. Yet, he waited without a word of complaint. Instead he observed her remarking on how she changed in the last few weeks, he only saw her in passing so seeing her up this close gave him pause. There were visible shadows under her eyes, her cheekbones were more pronounced, her back straight yet her shoulders seemed to carry a huge weight. Even her hair usually pulled in a hasty done bun or ponytail was meticulously combed back and tied firmly to the head. She blinked and sighed before turning towards him.

“Thank you, Solas. But I think… I don’t want to talk about Redcliffe anymore. You can ask Dorian for details if you wish so.” Her gaze was calm and yet he felt her trembling. Was it her body or her aura? They stopped practicing magic after Redcliffe but he was still attuned to the vibes. She did not convinced him at the slightest.

He tried again. “I have already spoken with Dorian.” And seeing that her eyes went wide it occurred to him that she did not know that. “He was the one to make an observation of me being-erhm-unjust for not taking this seriously. So, I shall make amends if you let me.” He bowed his head slightly and took a step forward.

The surprise was clearly visible on her face. As her lips parted while she was looking for words to say he let his gaze to drink on her sight. How he long to- he stopped his train of thoughts and cleared his throat.

“Alright,” she agreed suddenly. “When do you have time?”

His mouth curved in a gentle smile. “Now, if you’re willing.”

Two hours later they sat next to each other, their backs against the wall and their legs stretched before them. Her left hand was enveloped in his and his thumb gently caressed it in small circles. She sniffed several times trying to hold back the tears running down her cheeks but was unsuccessful. So he held her gently and let her tell him everything that happened. But she did not; he knew that and he waited for the truth with his breath. Everything except him calling her his _vhenan_. He looked at her fighting her tears and biting her lower lip. She did not want me to know, he pondered. Why? He did not voice his thoughts though letting her take her time and silence for as long as she needed. At least he felt like an indestructible wall between them was no more and her presence filled him with warmth.

“I should… probably go clean up or.. something.” She suddenly rose up to her feet and adjusted her clothing. He followed her to the door where she stopped for a moment.

“Thank you for-“ her voice faltered and she let her eyes wander around as if afraid to meet his gaze.

He would have none of it, he thought as his hand firmly gripped her chin and lifted it to meet his eyes. “Anytime, Triss. I shall be here if you need me.” His hands moved across her cheeks and as he released a small burst of magic her skin returned to the regular healthy colour with no sign of her crying. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

To his surprise he felt a slight tingling around his fingertips. Her aura responded to his magic and a pleasant shiver ran down his back. It lasted only a few moments as he retrieved his hands away and clasped them tightly behind his back to avoid further temptation.

She stood there for a second longer before flashing him a timid smile and leaving his hut. It was the first time he saw her smiling since Redcliffe. His own mouth curved into a smirk. His effort was not in vain as he may have succeeded in his endeavour. Good, he thought while closing the door and moving to his desk to continue with his books, it seemed we were back on track.

*

He lunged from his cot and hastily dressed in his tunic and overcoat. It was late at night and he suspected only a handful of soldiers were likely to see him. He did not bother taking anything else and quickly walked towards Triss’ cabin hoping he would be able to unlock it and get inside.

The magic was useful even in that, her door stood open and he made as little noise as possible while approaching her bed.

She thrashed and turned. Her breaths were coming short and rasped. Her hands were forming into fists grasping at her bedroll. She was turning from side to side. Whimpering. Short shallow breaths. Suddenly, a set of strong hands gripped her and she stilled.

“ _Atisha da’len_. You’re safe. I will not let anything to harm you. Relax and let go...”

Calm voice and of familiar lilt made her relax after a while. She held onto the strong arms and tried to push her unpleasant dream away.

“You’re doing alright. Come to me. See me.  Follow my voice and you’ll be alright.”

Meadow full of blooming flowers instead of burning  _aravels_  and destroyed camp. Sunrays peering between trees illuminating the scene rather than the black pitch of the night engulfing the deep of despair whilst everything burned... the memory was vivid and yet surreal. Still captivating to the point where she was reliving the tragedy of her youth. The death of her parents and siblings. The mysterious disappearance of her best friend and cousin. The savagery of humans who burnt down their camp for the sheer of excitement if nothing else. The butchery which ensued was nothing but savage and spur of the moment and yet it convinced her than  _shems_  cannot be trusted... Tall trees and flowers in full bloom with a variety of colours started to distract her...

“Let it go. Just let it go. It’s not real anymore. It’s just a memory,” lilted accented voice whispering in her ear. Strong arms enveloping her in a secure embrace... She could get used to it...to them…so strong and—

**‘** Snap out of it! It’s just a dream! Out. NOW!’ I screamed.

Triss jolted and sat up abruptly. Solas was surprised but did not relax his hold on her. His hand was caressing her back in small circles. She looked at him half aware of the situation.

“W-what?”

“You were thrashing and likely had a nightmare. I came to offer assistance hoping it would be enough.” Solas explained; his brows furrowed.

Triss was staring at his face for a while.

“How did you get in here?” She asked after a while.

He exhaled and lowered his gaze to their hands.

“I heard you in the Fade. I saw demons coming at you and I was unable to fend them off, so I decided to act in the physical world. I apologise for this...but I could not think of any other solutions. Well, not an immediate one at least.”

His gaze was still low and she could feel apologies radiating off him. This was wrong. He came to help and she could not make him feel guilty.

“It’s alright.  _Ma serannas_ Solas _. Ma ghilana halani._  I think I’ll be fine now.”

He looked her straight in the eyes and a small smile found its way into his face and eventually eyes. She returned it happily. They were both grinning at each other for a few moments. Then he chuckled and lowered his gaze again.

“I should...return to my hut then.”

She was still gripping his arm.

“Unless you-” he left the thought hanging. The air started to charge with the unspoken thoughts as he looked into her eyes again. She held his gaze and felt her resolve melting like a hot chocolate.

“Stay,” she whispered and he nodded once. He got up and removed his overcoat before laying down in the bed and dragging her towards him. He enveloped her in his arms and held her close to him. She did not object.

“Sleep. I will protect you,” he declared solemnly.

Triss did not know what to make of it but she felt safe enough to close her eyes and wrap her arms around him. She felt asleep lulled by his regular breathing.

*

I cannot be doing this. Why am I even doing this? Because I want it? He chided himself looking at the woman asleep in his arms. This was a blessing. Like a miracle to him. To have a woman in his arms who did not demand anything from him but his presence. How long has it been since he-? He let the thought linger.

It didn’t matter. She was here to serve a purpose. He knew that. And yet…he could not stop looking at her. His hand almost absently reached out to put a strand of hair behind her ear. She moved her head at the contact and clung to him. His lips curved into a smile.

What am I doing? I should not be doing this. I’m here to-

His hand remained hanging in the air just behind her ear. His gaze was roaming her features like a falcon its prey. Her sharp cheek bones and defined jaws captivated him. Her lips so full and yet slim were attracting him in a way he did not feel in centuries. And her eyes... the deep gold of her eyes was unnerving to say at least. Drawing him into the pool of their depth of possibilities; he knew he had to resist even if such an effort seemed to be futile... It was a bit easier now as they were closed and yet. He could remember their hues which changed according to her mood and emotions. She was expressing herself with her eyes. One moment she was calm and the next she shot lighting with her gaze. It was fascinating to him and… enthralling his every cell. Arousing him to the point where he had to look away and focus on something trivial to calm himself down. And now, she was half laying on him, clung to him in an intimate manner and he felt as if she belonged here. Here with him.

He dropped his hand from her ear to her shoulder blade and let it rest there. He felt himself slipping into the Fade with a smile on his lips. The smile which was forming her name. Triss.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mages are preparing to close the Breach

“My dear, look at them. We work with the best and yet- “Vivienne scoffed while glancing at the Mages chosen to close the Breach. Triss stood by her side leaning on her favourite staff. She hummed to herself trying to tune out the condescending tone of her companion. And her crude remarks.

“If you mean the lack of taste in their clothing then I wholeheartedly agree. “ Dorian happily piped in and then turned to glance at the women. “And yet… there is so much potential here! Just imagine what amount of fashion advice we could give.”

“No amount of fashion advice can help them, I’m afraid. Plaidweave and yellow do not mix together. Well, the former is an offence on its own to be precise.” Vivienne glanced at the Herald and sighed quietly. “My dear, are you sure you want to do it after tomorrow?”

“You don’t believe they’re ready?” Triss moved her gaze across the faces of the Mages populating the frozen lake where they meet to practice for the last fortnight. Her eyes lingered a moment longer on a more familiar Mage, dressed in worn wool of greys and greens.

The Enchanter sighed again and muttered to herself, “You cannot be serious.”

“Pretend you did not hear that,’ I advised her.

Triss sighed and met the Enchanter’s glare. “I think they’re ready. We shall do it after tomorrow.” And with that she turned around and went to look for Commander Cullen whom she needed to inform of her decision.

‘Please don’t make him blush again.’

**Why not? He’s funny.**

I sighed. Still a brat, I see.

She briskly walked towards the tents where Cullen was issuing orders to his subordinates. They met this morning for the weekly overview of the Inquisition forces knowing that they would meet again this late afternoon to hear Triss’ decision.

Commander looked at her from his papers. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Triss stood there for a few long moments stunned by the soft expression on his face and swirling warmth of gold of his eyes.

‘Oh my, what a sight,’ I whispered.

**What???**

‘Just look at those eyes, and this jaw, and those lips. I know you enjoy looking at him,’ I informed her shamelessly.

**I-I don’t!**

‘My dear, there’s nothing better to give the big lie away if bot for the quickness of one’s denial.’

**You are so-!!!** She huffed which made Cullen raise his brow in confusion.

‘Oh sweet Ma-Mythal,’ I sighed. Caught. Almost.

“Commander,” she cleared her throat, “we’re going to close the Breach after tomorrow, just as we planned initially. Do you think you can manage?” She sent him a sweet smile.

Cullen lowered his gaze as if to find the answer in the documents he held. “I think we can proceed with that.” His cheeks started to take on a lovely pink hue. Slightly deeper than the usual one due to the cold. “As we have planned this to happen after tomorrow I think we should manage.” He raised his eyes and locked it with Triss. “You think you’re ready?”

“I am.”

“If you need anything to h-help you in preparing for the-the mission just let me know.” The gold in his eyes darkened and his hair moved in the sudden breeze. The lock of hair fell on his forehead and Triss felt a sudden impulse to brush it away. She frowned at her own feelings. Taking a good look at him she noticed how tall he was; his broad shoulders and strong jaw; the attractive scar leading to his slightly parted lips; the smouldering gold of his gaze and the unruly hair dancing in the wind. She was never attracted to a human before but right then she realised that she wanted to be.

**What’s wrong with me?**

‘Nothing. Maybe you are not attracted to him as a human but rather as a person?’

**Huh.**

“I will take Solas and Cassandra with me. The others should stay in Haven and protect… others should they need – require it. You know, the thing they usually do.” She crossed her arms and bit her lip. The motion made Cullen move his gaze first onto her bosom, to which he cursed internally, and then to her lips, to which he nearly screamed.

“Very well,” he managed to say before he caught the eye of one of his lieutenants who came to the rescue offering a new board with another set of papers. He was never more grateful to see a stack of documents to read.

She sighed and walked back towards the smithy. Their armour was supposed to be repaired and ready for the next mission. She did not plan on getting her favourite leather trousers ripped but even the strongest enchantment could not stand against a clean slice of an axe. She was lucky she got away with a small bruise and an intact leg.

“So, big day has arrived.” She heard a happy grumbling on passing by the Chargers’ tent. She looked up to meet Bull’s gaze.

She chuckled. “Is there anything you’re not aware of?”

He grinned. “Very unlikely.” After eyeing her for a few moments. “You look better than before.”

Her frowning and tilting her head did the trick.

“You talked to the apostate. Good.” He admitted smirking.

**Does everyone deem so vital to meddle in my affairs?**

‘Get used to it,’ I mumbled. ‘It will only get better.’

**What do you mean?**

‘Oh, nothing.’

“So, who are you taking? I guess the Seeker and Solas would do. Maybe another Mage? Although you have enough.” He glanced at the Breach and then back at her. “Maybe you need more Mages.”

“I’ll be fine with the number I have. If that fails we’ll just have to give it another try.” She shrugged. “Besides, Dorian and Vivienne refused to come. So, I gave them guard duties while I’m gone.”

Bull mirrored her grinning.

“I’d be careful when it comes to Enchanter Vivienne though.”

Triss snorted. “Just because you’re afraid of her doesn’t mean that I have to be, Bull!”

“I’m not afraid of her,” he whispered frantically.

“Yes, you are! Since she made you think that she can turn you into a frog or something…”

He glared at her menacingly. “Don’t you dare to give her this idea.”

A few moments of battling between a barely withheld laughter on her side and a seriousness of Bull’s statement went on.

“Do you think it’s possible for her to do it? To turn me.. into a-“

Triss dropped all pretence and bent in two laughing heartedly. She could not stop and so she found herself sitting in the snow falling from the sky without remorse and slowly covering everything around. Passing habitants spared the couple a glance or two but Bull’s intimidating glare sent them skittering about.

She managed to calm herself after a long while at last. Her look at the posturing mountain of a Qunari was rather warm. “Oh Bull, if she ever tried that she would have to get through me first,” she declared happily, standing up from the ground and getting rid of the snow off her clothes. “You work for me and not her, so don’t worry.”

Bull’s expression relaxed a bit and his eye gleamed. “She’s intimidating. Even for a human.”

‘Because she’s a Mage.’

“Because she’s a Mage?”

“Well… yes.”

Triss put her hands on her hips. “And I’m not?”

She was met with a silence from Bull and a chuckle from her right. She glared at the newcomer only to meet an amused face of Solas.

“You can be when you want to,” he admitted. “But that depends to whom and when.”

**Ass.**

“Really?” She snorted. “I’ll have you know that I can be intimidating whenever I want and to whomever I decide to!”

“I am convinced you believe it true.” He replied calmly; still wearing the so-familiar smirk. Oh how she wanted to wipe it off his face. Since their makeup they resumed their magic training and he did not avoid any opportunity to tease and rail her up. She knew it was to test her and push her limits but nonetheless she managed to fail for it. Every single time.

I laughed and sighed at the same time. It’s so funny to be in love. Especially, if you’re the last one to realise it.

“What about Solas?” She turned back to the Qunari and pointed at the other elf.

Bull measured the tall elf for a few moments. “Yes, he is.”

“What?” She railed. “You-you find him intimidating?” She motioned to the smirking one who started to laugh at earnest. “You find-him… intimidating?”

Bull blinked and leaning closer whispered dramatically, “Have you ever seen him fighting? He’s a badass there. A force to be feared.”

She huffed right in his grey face before turning around and marching resolutely towards the smithy.

‘That was… educational, I think.’

**You. Shut up.**

‘You find him more attractive now, right?’

She stopped in her tracks just outside the smithy parameter. Her furious gaze met Blackwall’s who suddenly changed his mind about approaching her.

**Aha! So, I can be intimidating!**

Hmm, shall I tell you to look behind you or just let you bask in your obliviousness?’ I asked sarcastically.

**What? Behind me-**

When she turned around she met the amused gaze of stormy eyes. She turned her own to slits and huffed at him.

“What can I do for you.” Not a question.

Solas gifted her with a charming smile and leaning slightly whispered, “You left your staff in the snow. I suspect you may want to have it.”

**That’s it. I’m going to smack him! Or throttle him! Or both at the same time!**

‘Just kiss him already,’ I supplied.

She gasped and ripped her staff from Solas’ grasp. “ _Ma serannas_.”

Then she turned around and approached Harritt tuning out everyone else.

She missed the disappointment and longing in the elf gaze who stood there for a few more heartbeats before calming his features and directing his steps towards Haven’s gate.

*

“The other day… you know-when … you came to my hut.” She was scrambling for words as they walked slowly following the crowd of Mages towards the Temple. “Did you want to stay or did I make you?”

“You could not make me do anything I did not want to.” He admitted quietly. They were at a fair distance from the group but none should be more careful in the presence of the Herald.

“Oh, I see.” She said falling into a comfortable silence. Only soft crunching of snow accompanied them for a time. They still had some distance to cover and with their group of so many they were moving slowly. As they started early in the morning they were making a good time getting to the Temple ruins and their target.

She broke the silence. “So, why did you ran away so fast in the morning?”

He spared her a glance. She was facing forward carefully deciding her way through the debris and rocks. “Because I did not want to fuel further speculations about you. Posturing is necessary. In some instances more than others.” He admitted reluctantly.

“Talking from experience?” She chuckled sauntering over a few rocks sticking out from the ground.

Oh, how close to home you are, I thought.

“Just- something to think about, Lavellan.” Solas remarked and picked up his pace. No need to satisfy her needs anymore. They were approaching the goal and he would leave after the event was over. That’s what he promised to himself and… the Herald. Triss. His heart clenched in response to his thoughts and he had to refocus on some trivia to follow this through.

You should not have given your heart to her, old Wolf, his heart pleaded. You’re too deep as it is. Now, you’re only way is to suffer or be denied.

He called on the Fade to elevate his discomfort. It was just out of his embrace as he was too agitated, or entwined, to attain the elevated state. The one to help him was much closer but he refused to admit that. Even to himself.

“Wow! The last time we came here I did not have a chance to admire it properly.” Her awed remark made him slow down his pace and turn to look at her. Her eyes scanned to the edges of the Temple. The cold obsidian rocks with green veins of the Fade. He knew what they were but he doubted she would appreciated the knowledge. “And the first time… I don’t remember it at all,” she chuckled and stopped.

His heart and breath skipped a beat as he looked at her. Aware of her goal and yet so determined to go through with this; he almost felt the need to stop her; convince her to turn around and leave; to live her life to its fullest without being mixed with all this. His mistake. And yet, after taking a long breath, he smiled and approached her; their shoulders touching slightly.

“Take your time, Triss. It definitely shall change after you interact with the Breach.”

She chuckled still staring at the green beam. “You mean, if I survive.” She leaned towards him.

The air suddenly left his lungs and he found himself hard to breathe. Small spots of sweat adorned his body. NO! “I’m sure…” his voice failed him.

Triss stared at the Breach for a while and then went to meet Cassandra at the Temple entrance oblivious of his internal struggle. He could still stop this. If she did not survive the encounter what chances he had of facing the crazy magister? If she did not survive what he would do? Follow with his plan to travel West in search of-, he took a few long breaths to calm himself. No need for such thoughts until it’s all done.

She was a mean to his goals after all. And nothing more.

_Nothing more._

As if, his treacherous heart quarrelled. She’s your heart and you willing to sacrifice it.

He swallowed hard and followed the two women who, oblivious of his doubts, descended the stairs to get closer to the beam of green.

The Mages accompanying them were instructed how to proceed and where to take positions so they were surrounding the Herald creating a circle around her. Solas was the one to give the final signal for the trial to start. They called it ‘a trial’ although they hoped it would be enough to close the hole in the sky. With all the Mages and their power combined it should be enough to augment Triss Mark’ magic to handle the Breach. He hoped, even dreamt about it, but now standing next to her and feeling all the power and auras of the Mages he hesitated. Was it the same amount which was needed to perform his own spell? In the days of Arlathan, did he ever question the amount of magic needed to perform a spell, or he took it for granted? How much would be needed if he decided to let her go and-

“Solas?” Triss touched his arm and he was brought back to reality. His eyes focused on the gold speckles of hers. He forced a smile on his face; maybe the last one she would see.

“It’s time, isn’t it?” More of a statement than a question but he needed to say it.

She smiled at him and nodded. “Let’s do it.” Then she moved closer to the centre of the ruins; just a few steps away where she appeared when they found her. His heart did a flip again and he blinked several times to force tears from falling.

“Inquisition! Lend your magic to the Herald! Focus on her! Let her draw from you! Together, now!”

He watched as all Mages, one by one, got onto their knees and directed their magic towards the small figure in the middle. Her aura was bursting with power and any further addition would definitely break the control she tried to maintain. But he knew it had to be done, only the greatest amount of power could rival even the slightest counterpart of his Orb. Cassandra was looking around with a watchful eye and yet her gaze was dragged towards the Breach. She hoped this would work. As did he.

With these thoughts of his and bearing Triss’ image in his mind he kneeled just behind her and directed all of his magic into her. She staggered for a moment and he had a fleeting thought of grabbing her and stopping this nonsense before she extended her left hand and pointed towards the Breach. It creaked and cracked and sizzled and definitely hurt as her screams rivalled the noises from the beam which started to contort and eventually burst into nothing.

Triss collapsed onto her knees and held her left hand closer to her body. It took him only a few seconds to get to his feet and be at her side; she was heaving and sweat was adoring her face but she never looked lovelier than at this moment. She survived. She closed the Breach and… she survived.

He pondered this outcome while caressing her back and helping her to get up. The cheers of Mages who helped with the endeavour allowed him to get distracted and convey his congratulations. The Seeker seemed to be in a good mood as she cheered up as well and even hugged some of the Mages.

It took them a while to get back to Haven and he was thankful for it. He made a decision to pack his things and leave once they were back. Once he saw that Triss was safely back in Haven.

Fool, his heart wept.

He recited his long standing plans and ultimate goals and yet… he felt as if they did not feel _real_ when compared to the figure of a female elf slowly walking back by his side to the village where all the Inquisition forces were anxiously awaiting her return. To celebrate. Because they achieved the impossible. With the help of one mortal they managed to undo the magic created by the one equalling to the gods of Arlathan. It did not matter that he was the only one to know the truth. She had a power he did not hope she could wield or use at all. And yet… she surprised him again and again. And he was lost.

He wanted… something. He realised it when he looked at her being embraced by the other companions. Even Vivienne and Sera embraced her and cheered up expressing their happiness. So, he clanged to the shadow and let her have this moment; observed her memorising every move and expression he felt he would be deprived of if he was to follow with his original plan tonight.

His eyes closed for a moment and he felt heavy tears rolling down his cheeks.

Old fool, indeed.

He smiled for the last time and walked to his cabin where he started to grab books and items he would want to take on his further journey. He packed them neatly into his backpack taking care of the scrolls she written on when he taught her written Elvish. He chuckled when he put those at the bottom of his backpack. He decided he had a couple of hours before he can leave so at lest he could-

-a sudden shift of magic in the Fade made him change his mind. No time to spare it seemed. He hasten his steps throwing everything he wanted into the backpack. He pulled on the strings and held his breath.

Yes, something was coming. And it did not bode well.

It meant he needed to postpone his departure, he realised. Oh well, he could stay for a while longer. And somehow this thought made his aching heart lighter.


End file.
